DC

I am a hick from the boodocks

[DC @detlef_c]

The spirit is weary, but the flesh is wired.

[Lori @Cornjerker78]

I understood it better before you explained it to me

[Mark W. @DurhamWASP]

“The greatest evils in the world will not be carried out by men with guns, but by men in suits sitting behind desks.”

C.S. Lewis

[pamplemousse @CushieButt]

don't ever let it make you mean.

[DC @detlef_c]

@rossell_sarah Happy birthday!

[r.e @welcometo_blue]

My dad has westerns playing on the tv all night and randomly wakes up to watch a climatic shoot out before drifting off again. Beautiful life

[Destry @DestryBrod]

If your cargo pants aren't full of snacks, you might as well be wearing jeans.

[Nayele18 @nayele18maybe]

“I’d love to!”

~me, lying

[DC @detlef_c]

Je suis celui qui ne sait pas se taire

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

I hate people who gossip behind my back. They discuss me.

[DC @detlef_c]

I’m the one who can’t keep quiet - Texas version

[DC @detlef_c]

I’m the one who can’t keep quiet

[DaddyJew @DaddyJew]

why suffer in silence when you can tweet

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

I've already been ambiguous, and it's not even noon.

[Suds @stacywawa1]

Establish dominance by slowly eating a banana during the eulogy

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

Welcome to Garbage Twitter, we put the F U in FUN.

[AbbyDabbyDuh @DearAuntAbby]

If you ever see me march along with a parade you can bet I'm just trying to cross the street to get to a liquor store.

[Buddawiggi @MarkBuckawicki]

A bent wheel rolls funny on every ground

[dj pauly d @smellagillis]

writing a gay sex scene into the third paragraph of my cover letter to see if they actually read it