Habibitch

[Habibitch @devilarshiee]

She’s masc4masc presenting

[sev @t0rmentedd]

She’s just using me for my below average penis and my slightly overweight body and my empty bank account

[Conspiratorial Templates @mynamehear]

BREAKING: Senator Mitch McConnell dies, announces plans to run for senate again in 2028

[Books Behind Borders @MHTruthUltra]

I remember when I was young they had these people called “investigative journalists” who could find out stuff like if a senator was dead or not

[celi @yvlrin]

Bagged zendaya now hes trying to take jude from us too fuck you

[hasanabi @hasanthehun]

just got off the phone with mitch mcconnell. we had phone sex.

[⋆KMꜝ❤︎ @misskerrington]

Fuck a breakup you ever been addicted to a restaurant that closed down ?😭😭

[spragels The Content Cowboy @spragels]

I have no idea why the UK Dominos account has decided to go after Sony but it’s very funny

[Poorly Aged Things @PoorlyAgedStuff]

i don’t understand. this a physical product? how do i download it?

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

just got off the phone with my close personal friend mitch mcconnell. we spoke for six hours. he told me he is GAY and might be interested in exploring POLYAMORY. i look forward to him returning to work as soon as possible.

[Lilyallly❤️🇬🇧 @lilyally98]

The most jealous bitch you know is a man

[h @ruinsunflower]

so there is this app called twitter

[sipsi @garibansipsi]

duş sonrası saçını kurularken terlemeye başlamak

[Naevis -77.82X-78.29 @naevisualizer]

watch out Beyoncé, here comes Bae Yoon Sae

[untamed yapper @jeremiahajayi_]

The effort required for casual sex doesn’t match its ROI.

[miss mamaz @MIZZGW0RL]

Imagine you living ur life and some random wants you to be a fill in auntie lmao

[syren @ligerzerosyren]

I turned 18 in 2011. Rent was $425. After work I’d go to the mall with friends and get a whole new outfit for $40. We’d go out that night, drinks were $3 and whole meals were like $7. Wake up next morning & get brunch WITH DRINKS for less than $15. Life is hell now.

[Patrick Howley @HowleyReporter]

That was a pre-existing condition

[Mistress Dividend @mistressdivy]

I don’t think the Gmail “unsubscribe” button does literally anything

[ivo @trashmagiq]

I want to fuck your dad. Is that what you wanted me to say? I want to have sex with your father, suck his cock and slobber on his balls.