¡̼𝕤𝕙𝕚༼ ༽𝕤𝕡𝕚!̼

⋮🃏•🕴🏽•🎴⋮

[¡̼𝕤𝕙𝕚༼ ༽𝕤𝕡𝕚!̼ @devinjwright]

i 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 nothing begging 𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕖 give me it

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

In America, a stranger will rename you in a single breath, and you are simply expected to come when called.

I went to eat at a busy restaurant. A young man at the front asked for my name, to mark my place in line. I gave it the weight it has carried for eight hundred years.

"Nobunaga."

He smiled, nodded, and wrote it down with great confidence. Then he read it back to me, to be sure he had honored it correctly.

"Perfect. Banana, party of one."

Banana. He had heard my name, held it a moment, and returned to me something rounder and more cheerful. To refuse the name a host gives is to refuse his welcome. I bowed. I was Banana now.

Then he handed me a small black disc, said it would "light up and buzz" when my table was ready, and turned to the next guest as though he had not just placed a living thing in my hands.

I held it in both palms, the way one holds a small sleeping beast that may wake. I found a place to stand. I waited, ready.

It woke.

It screamed. It flashed red. It leapt and shook in my hands like a captured spirit demanding release. A lesser man would have dropped it. I did not. I gripped it, steady, looked into its blinking lights, and told it, in a low voice, that its time had come. Then I carried it back to the host with both hands, the way one returns a hawk to its master.

He took it without looking and shouted across the entire room.

"BANANA! Party of one, your table's ready!"

A hundred strangers turned. I rose. I crossed that floor as Banana, spine straight, chin level, a man answering to his name. A child pointed at me. I gave the child a small bow. He had recognized me.

All through the meal they kept me. "How's it tasting, Banana?" "More water, Banana?" The check, when it came, said Banana, and thanked me for visiting. By the end the whole staff knew me. They waved as I left. "Night, Banana!"

So tell me honestly.

For eight hundred years my clan answered to one name. Tonight I answered to a fruit, calmed a screaming relic in my bare hands, and ate among people who were glad I came.

When the little disc lights up, is the table truly mine, or am I only keeping it warm for the next Banana?

Because I have already decided to return on Friday, and to ask, very humbly, for the same disc.

[B. Miller @BlaiseInKC]

There’s some quirk in physics where, if there’s a small hole in a bag of mulch it will leak all over your vehicle.
But if you rip a giant hole in the bag and try to dump it out into your landscaping, almost none will fall out.

[Time Capsule Tales @timecaptales]

1980s footage of U.S. Special Forces speaking different languages

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

JUST IN: Instagram account of the Chief Master Sergeant of the U.S. Space Force has seemingly been hacked by Iranian operatives.

[GB Politics @GBPolitcs]

🚨NEW: Since 2020, there has been 27 foreign migrants from outside the EU hired for every British young person

[Crémieux @cremieuxrecueil]

I wanted to see how many American doctors were objectively unintelligent

I assembled 9 large-scale American datasets and I found that there are plenty of actually unintelligent people with doctorates

The least intelligent non-disabled, valid-score doctor I found had an IQ of 66

[Nick shirley @nickshirleyy]

@JasonJournoDC You could tell these people a rock is a solid and they would say it’s liquid, that how dumb these people are

[Faytuks Network @FaytuksNetwork]

Reports of an explosion heard around Boston are believed to be a significant bolide/meteor entering the atmosphere, a very large flash was detected by GOES-19 satellite that does not correlate with active thunderstorms.

[Moshe Schwartz @YWNReporter]

🚨 SHOCKING FOOTAGE - BREAKING STORY IN FLATBUSH: A bizarre and developing situation is unfolding on McDonald Avenue between Kings Highway and Avenue S, near Kosher Corner Supermarket.

Video shows approximately six individuals emerging from a manhole at around 2:00 a.m. after reportedly spending nearly two hours underground - with the cover closed and a person standing watch nearby.

A massive NYPD investigation is now underway, and the entire area has been closed off as authorities work to determine exactly what happened.

Stay with Flatbush Scoop for updates on this bizarre story.

[ABNDESIGNS @abndesigns]

Axios is reporting that Trump has escaped the wheel of Samsara

[Exilenova+ @Exilenova_plus]

An FP-1/2 drone struck the Project 11356 frigate Admiral Essen at the Novorossiysk naval base on May 23

[FactPost @factpostnews]

The Trump administration is spending $5 million to coat horse statues with a layer of 23.75-karat gold.

[¡̼𝕤𝕙𝕚༼ ༽𝕤𝕡𝕚!̼ @devinjwright]

@kamikazecash in a heartbeat

[doomer @uncledoomer]

young couples trying to raise a family in our clown economy are admirable bordering on heroic, so if you have kids, its actually a patriotic duty to invade spaces where boomers, "childfree" redditors, disney adults, other sorts of foul beasts, cavort and stuff their putrid jowls

[¡̼𝕤𝕙𝕚༼ ༽𝕤𝕡𝕚!̼ @devinjwright]

@devin d man how much would you sell this handle for?

[¡̼𝕤𝕙𝕚༼ ༽𝕤𝕡𝕚!̼ @devinjwright]

@TheRoyalSerf @marcorubio

[Serf @TheRoyalSerf]

9 of every 10 new American jobs since pre-COVID went to someone born outside the country.

[✧rachel✦ @VOIDTHROAT]

"clams casino" conjurs a grim & dazzling world of aquatic vice

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

@blueorigin @StephenClark1 Sorry to see this, I hope you recover quickly