mary

peekaboo

[mary @deykohm]

@Bunny_ngl The fact that I felt this 😭

[𝒥𝒢 ☆࿐ @JanuaryGirl0]

We’ve been rivals since high school, always fighting to be the best. Last year, my boss made her the head of the company, and right away, she started stealing money from the business.
She didn’t even try to hide it from our group chat. She bragged about lying on financial reports while the company was struggling, sending texts about the secret bank accounts she was filling with stolen money.

[𝒥𝒢 ☆࿐ @JanuaryGirl0]

The last thing my talking stage said to me when I lied to him I’m a nurse 😭

[𝒥𝒢 ☆࿐ @JanuaryGirl0]

Years ago, I was at McDonald's behind a family who tried to order an ice cream cone. The son threw a fit when the mom told him the machine was broken. I really wanted to turn around and say, "It is the McDonald's ice cream machine. Of course it is broken"

[𝒥𝒢 ☆࿐ @JanuaryGirl0]

When I was ten or eleven, living in Chicago, my "friends" asked me to check a box in the alley. They said there was a real gun inside. I was scared and told them we should call a parent.
Instead, one of them picked it up, pointed it at his leg, and a loud bang came afterwards while he dropped to the ground, yelling in pain.

[𝒥𝒢 ☆࿐ @JanuaryGirl0]

Dating in 2026. Such misogyny

[𝒥𝒢 ☆࿐ @JanuaryGirl0]

Later that semester in Spanish class, he assigned another essay about ourselves. This time, I translated my original English paper straight into Spanish, word-for-word. When he noticed and called me out again, I just said, "Sir, it’s still me. I haven't changed."

[𝒥𝒢 ☆࿐ @JanuaryGirl0]

Back in 7th grade, my English teacher who also taught Spanish had us write an essay about ourselves in the first semester, and I did pretty well and got good marks on it.

In the second semester, he gave us the exact same assignment so I just rewrote the same essay as the first one, word for word. When he noticed and asked why I copied my own work, I just looked at him and said, "I haven't changed."

[𝒥𝒢 ☆࿐ @JanuaryGirl0]

I just know speed the type of man that can take a bullet for you

[Asa @xAsamoahx]

Bro think’s he’s Ban from the 7 deadly sins

[𝒥𝒢 ☆࿐ @JanuaryGirl0]

When I first joined my gym, I was too shy to talk to anyone, especially this really fit guy. A year later, I finally said hi to him. He smiled and said, 'Oh, now you talk to me? I thought you were too cool for us.' I said, 'No, I was just trying not to pass out!'

[𝒥𝒢 ☆࿐ @JanuaryGirl0]

My uncle and aunt asked me to feed their cat while they were supposed to be out of town for the weekend. They gave me a key and said, "Just head in whenever, no need to let us know." Their trip got canceled, but nobody told me. I walked into the living room and caught my aunt giving my uncle a bj. I ALWAYS text before opening a front door now. It’s been 10 years. My aunt’s favorite advice is to "never let the spark die." Good for them, but that image is forever burned into my mind.

[𝒥𝒢 ☆࿐ @JanuaryGirl0]

We all can guess how tall he is right 😂

[𝒥𝒢 ☆࿐ @JanuaryGirl0]

I’ll never forget how shocked my friend from Germany was when we visited an old historic town in New York State. He stopped, looked around at all the massive old wooden buildings and towers, and said, “I can’t believe all this is still standing I thought Hitler destroyed everything in World War 2”

[𝒥𝒢 ☆࿐ @JanuaryGirl0]

Petition to bring back arranged marriages. my Dad got me a really cute one 🥰

[𝒥𝒢 ☆࿐ @JanuaryGirl0]

Driving to a date last year, I heard a story about a famous movie star living a normal life overseas. Once we sat down at the restaurant and ran out of things to say, I teased him, "You're not a famous actor, right?" He smiled a little and said, "Not in the USA." I thought he was just being funny, but he wasn't joking at all. Having already ordered our meals, I had to sit there in silence while people from his home country kept stopping by our table to take photos with him.

[𝒥𝒢 ☆࿐ @JanuaryGirl0]

When I was checking in for my flight from California to Hawaii, the agent asked for my international customs paper. I told her Hawaii is part of the US and doesn't need customs, which made a nearby traveler laugh. I asked her to just scan my ticket. The computer cleared it right away, which was good because I didn't have any papers.

At security, an officer looked at my ID and asked if Hawaii was in Europe or Asia. I sarcastically said, "It's a US state, what do you think?" He looked at me with a straight face and said, "Europe."

[𝒥𝒢 ☆࿐ @JanuaryGirl0]

While living in Hawaii, I constantly received shipping orders flagged as "Overseas Export."
Later, while visiting a small town in Ohio, a local shopkeeper praised me on my fluent English and asked if I had to exchange my currency when I flew to the mainland. The look on her face when I told her no, USD works in all 50 states, was priceless.