David Higginbotham

My wife & I have a 10-year-old & 6-year-old so I don't finish many sentences.

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

The main difference between a regular genie and a diaper genie is that a diaper genie only grants wish number 1
and wish number 2.

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

“If we had two orangutans living here instead of these two kids I’m not sure we’d be able to tell a difference.”

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

God put my friend Patrick in Publix that night for more than groceries.

[The Decatur Daily @decaturdaily]

Patrick Swinea was standing in the Publix deli line on a Saturday evening in June when the man in front of him suddenly collapsed. https://t.co/nx7Ez81qaj

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

@JeffreySherrill @Jif Stay out of this Skippy….the adults are talking.

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

Yes, good morning @Jif Your peanut butter is an embarrassingly large part of my life. So much so that I have 6 of your 48oz jars currently in my pantry, because…you know….prepardness. All of these fall under your recall. You are going to issue some sort of refund….right?

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

@Dadpression One time when I was a kid my Dad literally told me that male pine cones (I had to look it up) was dog poop and I believed it for more years than I should have.

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

@benrector I can’t figure out how in the world you kept sync’d up with the audio with the slow-motion starting and stopping like that….unless somebody did a bunch of math beforehand and that just makes my head hurt.

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

@KentKeirseyNC Is this home to the famous zip line?

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

@benrector I’ve been getting this message since Friday on this song. Have some friends saying the same thing….we’re in Alabama for what it’s worth.

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

That’s me on the left the day I took that thumbnail photo.

[NASA Marshall @NASA_Marshall]

The #NASAMarshall team has been a part of the @NASAWebb mission from the beginning. The Marshall team reflects on the work they did to help #UnfoldTheUniverse.

Learn More: https://t.co/HbmdCSy9Qb

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

Buying poster board for a yard sale tomorrow….almost forgot what week it was. #rolltide

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

@GregChandler4 We have the same problem. Earlier this year we were walking around at the river and we heard a couple of gun shots. Without hesitation Linley asked, “Is that huntin’ shootin’ or feudin’ shootin’?”

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

If you weren’t already planning on voting in this election until one of your friends or a celebrity posted “Go Vote” on social media….perhaps you’d be fine to just sit this one out.

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

@Davebarnesmusic @corywong In my playlist along side the @EarthWindFire version of September I have the @jtimberlake and @Timbaland produced version from the Trolls soundtrack (because…kids). That bass “mistake” is so iconic they even put it in this version at 0:16.

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

For the love of all that is good & kind….can you guys who haven’t filled out the #2020Census just do it already? There are so many things I can’t hear again this year (I’m looking at you “We’re all in this together”) & census reminders are right there at the top of that list.

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

I’m not exactly sure how (and I do not have Biblical proof of this) but I just feel like people talking on FaceTime calls while on speaker will somehow be part of hell.

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

We always wake our daughter up to Earth, Wind, and Fire’s “September” on her birthday. Today I woke her up to @nathanangelo ‘s “September 22nd”. Any suggestions for tomorrow would be appreciated.

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

@katemelynn13

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

This reminder has been going off all day and I cannot remember who I was actually supposed to call. #SiriFail #SouthernAccentFail #Elvis

[David Higginbotham @dhigginbotham]

I’ve taken a lot of crap off of you 2020. But the freshest kick in the homemade reusable mask you’ve delivered is @CBS removing #TheAndyGriffithShow from @netflix. You are the Howard Sprague of years.