Eggs Been A Dick

[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

Do you prefer poppyseed or papi's seed? #💦👅

[The District Press @DistrictPressDC]

Want to watch the D.C. United vs Orlando City match in person tonight?

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[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

@DistrictPressDC @csbivi

[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

My dog isn’t really into the whole pro-nouns thing just she is very pro-adjectives, some of her favorites include: cute, perfect, small & pretty

[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

“D1 these nuts” - @enfjpride

[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

@enfjpride And your date takes all of the fully loaded ones leaving you with the ones that only have one little nugget of meat on them

[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

Love is Blind Season 4 cutest couple spoiler 🥵🥵🥵

[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

@enfjpride 👎🏻

[DiscAlerts @DiscAlerts]

🥳 Disc Giveaway 🥳

We are giving away one of these discs tomorrow at 8PM PST!

To enter:
- Follow us: @DiscAlerts
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Winner will be announced in this thread!

#growthesport

[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

Chef’s Kiss : Good :: Chef’s Piss : Bad

[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

In opposition to the “Keep the ‘Christ’ in Christmas” movement, it kind of seems like a good idea to just change the name to “Chrismas”.

[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

If you were working in a strip club during the pandemic, you are an essential twerker.

[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

Dick-fil-a, it’s like Chik-fil-a, but they’re mean to you.

[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

@enfjpride @JonDeereDiesel Also don’t reuse your tooth brush #OneAndDone

[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

When your herding dog gets fat, you’re left with a melon-collie

[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

It really catches me off guard when people say “XXX is not with us anymore” when saying someone doesn’t work here anymore. I always think they died.

[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

Bait n switch?

[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

"Thank you for your pooperation"

[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

"Never have a baby in Tehran." - Advice from my grandma based on her experience. Not sure if there's some sort of Yelp page where she can post this.

[Eggs Been A Dick @dick_eggs]

POV you open the fridge and your parents have 2 pounds of hummus. (Not pictured, all there is to dip is half a box of wheat thins.)