Dietmar Bohm

[🇨🇭🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿InLucysHead🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇨🇭© @InsideLucysHead]

Retiring from the British Army can be complicated...

Lt. Colonel Robert Maclaren retired from the British Army in 2001 after a long fulfilling career. On the day that he retired he received a letter from the Personnel Department of the Ministry of Defence setting out details of his pension and, in particular, the tax-free ‘lump sum’ award, (based upon completed years of service), that he would receive in addition to his monthly pension.

The letter read:

“Dear Lt. Colonel Maclaren,

We write to confirm that you retired from the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards on 1st March 2001 at the rank of Lt Colonel, having been commissioned into the British Army at Edinburgh Castle as a 2nd Lieutenant on 1st February 1366.

Accordingly your lump sum payment, based on years served, has been calculated as £68,500. You will receive a cheque for this amount in due course.

Yours sincerely,

Army Paymaster”

Col Maclaren replied:

“Dear Paymaster,

Thank you for your recent letter confirming that I served as an officer in the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards between 1st February 1366 and 1st March 2001 – a total period of 635 years and 1 month.

I note however that you have calculated my lump sum to be £68, 500, which seems to be considerably less than it should be bearing in mind my length of service since I received my commission from King Edward III.

By my calculation, allowing for interest payments and currency fluctuations, my lump sum should actually be £6,427,586,619.47p.

I look forward to receiving a cheque for this amount in due course.

Yours sincerely,

Robert Maclaren (Lt Col Retd)”

A month passed by and then in early April, a stout manilla envelope from the Ministry of Defence in Edinburgh dropped through Col Maclaren’s letter box, it read:

“Dear Lt Colonel Maclaren,

We have reviewed the circumstances of your case as outlined in your recent letter to us dated 8th March inst.

We do indeed confirm that you were commissioned into the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards by King Edward III at Edinburgh Castle on 1st February 1366, and that you served continuously for the following 635 years and 1 month.

We have re-calculated your pension and have pleasure in confirming that the lump sum payment due to you is indeed £6,427,586,619.47p.

However,

We also note that according to our records you are the only surviving officer who had command responsibility during the following campaigns and battles:

*The Wars of the Roses 1455 -1485 (Including the battles of Bosworth Field, Barnet and Towton)

*The Civil War 1642 -1651 (Including the battles Edge Hill, Naseby and the conquest of Ireland)

*The Napoleonic War 1803 – 1815 (including the battle of Waterloo and the Peninsular War)

*The Crimean War (1853 – 1856) (including the battle of Sevastopol and the Charge of the Light Brigade)

*The Boer War (1899 -1902).

We would therefore wish to know what happened to the following, which do not appear to have been returned to Stores by you on completion of operations:

*9765 Cannon
*26,785 Swords
*12,889 Pikes
*127,345 Rifles (with bayonets)
*28,987 horses (fully kitted)

Plus three complete marching bands with instruments and banners.

We have calculated the total cost of these items and they amount to £6,427,518.119.47p.

WE have therefore subtracted this sum from your lump sum, leaving a residual amount of £68,500, for which you will receive a cheque in due course.

Yours sincerely . . . .”

[Der Gepardkommandant @gepardtatze]

@CaliRN619 Ahahahaha! You are not even ashamed of your lies Mrs Propaganda Account ("Army Vet wife" suuuuure) 😂
Bamberg is one of the most beautiful and best-preserved historic cities in Germany.
The entire old town is a UNESCO World Heritage Site.
But nice try ahahahahaha 🤣😘

[The Ministry Of Ungentlemanly Warfare @mouw5284]

Omfg this hits the nail firmly on the head..
Another absolute banger Jonathan - brilliant!
The USA is not our ally time to let go of that shit.. I hope Trump sees this..
@JonathanPieNews

[FAWLTY TOWERS @FAWLTYTOWERS_]

Happy #InternationalSillyWalkDay!
So stop talking about the war.

#ClassicBasil 🇬🇧 @JohnCleese

[Ilko-Sascha Kowalczuk @IlkoKowalczuk]

Eine überaus treffende Rezension des Buches von Egon Krenz in der FAZ heute von Stefan Locke. Wer es ausführlicher mag, könnte anschließend auch meine Betrachtung nachlesen: https://t.co/nZHSwMpQdq

[Robert Schaller @RobertSchalle11]

Ich hab mir nach sehr langer Zeit gestern wieder mal ein paar Minuten eine Trump PK gegeben.

Er sagt wirklich nur Müll und lobt sich dabei selbst.

Seit Jänner hat er schon 6 Kriege beendet, also jeden Monat einen, sogar welche die es gar nicht gab.

[ZackZack @RedaktionZack]

"Heute erzähle ich eine Geschichte, die ich selbst erlebt habe. Sie zeigt, wozu die organisierte Justiz in Österreich fähig ist." -Kommentar von @Peter_Pilz
https://t.co/wI9Mx1TfkK

[Reinhard Schulze @SchulzeRein]

In der Türkei können wir zusehen, wie die Demokratie stirbt, in Israel ist sie schwer erkrankt, in den USA wirft Trump sie auf das Totenbett, in Europa erwachen ihre Totengräber, und gar mancher Prominente glaubt allen Ernstes, der Tod der Demokratie wäre ein Sieg der Freiheit.

[Der Postillon 📯 @Der_Postillon]

Schwere Sicherheitspanne: Zwei russische Agenten verschaffen sich Zutritt ins Weiße Haus
#trump #ukraine
https://t.co/axHtq933bJ

[𝕐𝕒𝕜𝕠𝕧𝕠𝕝𝕗 @Yakovolf]

Vladimir Putin has offered to mediate a peace deal between Trump and Zelenskyy.

[Ljudmyla Melnyk @LjudmylaMelnyk]

Heute Nacht hat USAID einseitig alle Verträge mit ukrainischen Partnern aufgelöst. Besonders betroffen sind Programme und Projekte in den Bereichen Rechtsstaatlichkeit, Justizreform, Gesundheitswesen und weiteren zentralen Feldern. Bin auf der Suche nach Unterstützung! 🧵👇

[Dietmar Bohm @dietmarbohm]

@vollerempfang @autheistic @Ella_von_T Danke sehr, puh, man lernt nie aus. In dieser Bedeutung war mir das komplett unbekannt. Sänk u!

[Dietmar Bohm @dietmarbohm]

@autheistic @Ella_von_T Hey, woher kommt 'mir ist die Lore zu hoch'? Ist das regional, bezieht sich das auf die Lore im Bergbau? Danke.

[Ewa Ernst-Dziedzic @dziedzic_ewa]

Weil viele schon vergessen habe, was Hr Kickl alleine im BMI so anstellte: https://t.co/0P5DSjRJFg #Koalitionsverhandlungen #FPÖ

[Thomas Mayer @TomMayerEuropa]

Manche ÖVP-Dinos haben noch nicht ganz kapiert, was ein Bundeskanzler Kickl international und in Europapolitik für Folgen hat: FPÖ-Chef vertritt Österreich bei EU-Gipfeln, trifft dort Entscheidungen allein. Die ÖVP kippt Mocks EU-Politik.
Bravo Harald Mahrer! Was für ein WB-Chef!

[Dietmar Bohm @dietmarbohm]

@Didi6516 Sorry, was ist Bleampö??

[Dietmar Bohm @dietmarbohm]

Haben jetzt alle weitergeleitet, dass Armin Wolf nimmer auf X sein mag? Ja? Oder krieg ich das noch 80 Mal mitgeteilt!

[Dietmar Bohm @dietmarbohm]

@speis_oo Des hört ma gern ;))

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

I love reading newspaper websites. The screen refreshing on its own 3 times in quick succession, the text disappearing halfway down the article, a random video advert suddenly filling the screen, the whole page unexpectedly closing for no reason. Great experience.

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

Elon Musk is dark MAGA? Who knew it came in flavors