I can’t stand waking up and nobody knows it, I don’t have the strength to change who I’ll always be. Like I’m biting the gun but the safety is on, I threw up the pills I ate. God damn the man who said everything is fine.
Sometimes it’s the ones that try to help that hurt the most….Call it Anti-social, call it masturbation, either way it’s a solo operation, I’m just far more comfortable alone. People are ugly, people are evil.
I feel like people aren’t liking the damaged person they created in me, and it shows. You can be careless and mean to someone for so long before they say “Fuck it” and not care anymore about anything.
I keep telling myself life gets better but everytime I do it gets a tad bit worse; maybe if I say the curse backwards I’ll reverse it? Either way life being kicking my ass lately.
The Body Talks and Meditation has helped me listen. I visualize healing, you are the guru of your self. Be your own teacher, love everyone and everything including yourself…
The eggshells I walk on to keep the peace only get louder the more I avoid why I have to walk on them. I refuse to bend to anyone else’s breaking again.
I’ve been making changes all year; some good, some bad, but my biggest change I’m going to work on? Stand up for myself, I’m no longer gonna allow people to walk all over me, if that makes me an asshole so be it, You can only push someone down so far before they stand up.