Corporal Captain, 69th christmas battalion vet

I'm too lazy to make an alt account. Co-founder of Wowzer, America's finest Weezer cover band. He/him

[Corporal Captain, 69th christmas battalion vet @dirtyjamie_]

.@zachbraff hey man can you do me a solid and pick me up at LAX tonight? I'll buy dinner obvi

[J. Carson Niño @unluckypants]

@drmistercody "she was too progressive! it had nothing to do with genocide!"

meanwhile:

[bea @SlLENTPRINCESS]

you can only rt this today

[Corporal Captain, 69th christmas battalion vet @dirtyjamie_]

Cologne is activated by body heat but I’m entirely sweat now so that means I smell great right?

[Corporal Captain, 69th christmas battalion vet @dirtyjamie_]

@DThomsenCo An Open Letter to whoever wasted their time writing all this:

I’m not reading all that.
I’m happy for you tho.
Or sorry that happened.

[Corporal Captain, 69th christmas battalion vet @dirtyjamie_]

@MarioNawfal Elon musk hasn’t had that much real hair in like 30 years

[Discog. Discourse @Discog_Pod]

In honor of Warped Tour ending on this day 6 years ago, here is 30 seconds of Jordan Buckley playing the outro to Map Change as ETID closed out the final set of the tour and the crew began tearing down

He played this riff for nearly 10 minutes before they cut the sound https://t.co/ykWe5pUslU

[hasanabi @hasanthehun]

transphobia is a legitimate brain disease that eventually causes people to suspect EVERYONE of being trans. we are watching that happen in real time on a website run by a transphobic dead beat dad freak. this harms trans women AND ciswomen. yall are WEIRD AS FUCK

[bea @SlLENTPRINCESS]

you can only rt this today

[SuperSisi @SuperSisi]

Truth

[Corporal Captain, 69th christmas battalion vet @dirtyjamie_]

@ShadowofEzra Yall are so fucking cringey, like goddamn that was the sickest Olympics opening in years

[Corporal Captain, 69th christmas battalion vet @dirtyjamie_]

@Wildart4U @Esqueer_

[Corporal Captain, 69th christmas battalion vet @dirtyjamie_]

@saysmom91 @KellDA Are you familiar with jokes, and other types of goofs and gaffs?

[Corporal Captain, 69th christmas battalion vet @dirtyjamie_]

@saysmom91 @KellDA As a respiratory therapist I can definitely confirm that an adult can breathe 145 bpm and still be standing, and also it is absolutely possible to have an SaO2 of 130% 😂

[Corporal Captain, 69th christmas battalion vet @dirtyjamie_]

@RpsAgainstTrump These two dudes look like their foreheads are in a race to the top of the Empire State Building

[17 years of song a day @songadaymann]

this is about Corey Comperatore, the trump supporter who was murdered at the rally

[gaz @SilentGarrett]

people: PEDOS DESERVE TO BE SHOT IN THE HEAD 😤

also people: THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! THAT’S MY PEDO!! 🫡🇺🇸😤