Stuart Whitehouse

Jungle DJ, F1 nut and Birmingham City fatalist. Champion middle-aged tutter.

[Stuart Whitehouse @djswipez]

@wearetherace @TheBishF1 @rwilliams1947 A bored @MBrundleF1 “Raikkonen third” Then the voice goes higher, then higher, in pitch: “Is that Glock? IT IS!! That’s Glock!”
I had that moment on my Sky+ for a decade 👌

[Stuart Whitehouse @djswipez]

@SoVeryBritish I’ve just turned 50 and not ONE person has asked what my favourite dinosaur is for the past 42 years 😔

[Lucy @LMAsaysno]

not a single banksy since hyacinth bucket died. coincidence?

[Stuart Whitehouse @djswipez]

@TheBishF1 I’m getting sick of little twats hiding behind their phones thinking it’s okay to comment like this. Bish, you’re my hero, he’s a nobody.

[Fact Retriever @factretriever]

Apple does not let villains use their iPhones in movies.

[Stuart Whitehouse @djswipez]

@CoddersF1 The reverse grid I’d be sceptical of; wouldn’t drivers deliberately go slow to get pole?

[Stuart Whitehouse @djswipez]

@Ryanair Bus driver’s mate who stands next to him/her the entire route.

[Stuart Whitehouse @djswipez]

@thebowlerhatman No, thank YOU! A very refreshing account in what can be a toxic platform and childhood memories to boot!

[Stuart Whitehouse @djswipez]

@TheBishF1 I think that’s one of the first facelifts where they dropped the rear tail lights to make them 6mm longer. I worked at the Castle Bromwich factory during this period and noticed the small changes in the production vehicles. Was also there for the birth of the XF.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

My top British school memories:

-Stabbing holes in my rubber with a compass
-“The Apparatus”
-Very yellow custard
-A long wooden pole with a hook to open high windows in the assembly hall
-Give me oil in my lamp keep me burning
-Bringing toys and games in on the last day
-Forgetting to wash my PE kit and it festering in a bag with a wet towel
-Often being covered in mud
-Copying homework on the bus
-Five Alive and Um Bongo
-The “computer room”
-Pepsi Can pencil case
-Smell of TCP
-That one teacher who every now and then would explode with anger and go absolutely crazy, but was mostly very calm otherwise
-Ink everywhere
-Woolworths at lunch
-£5 notes in Walkers crisps
-Conkers
-Wet look gel
-Lynx
-Pogs and Tazos
-Swinging back on chairs (“you’ll fall back and split your head open!”)
-Glue guns and Bunsen burners
-Kickers
-Oxbow Lakes
-Footballs going on the roof
-Wrapping text books in paper
-Jumpers for goalposts

[Stuart Whitehouse @djswipez]

@SoVeryBritish I’m wondering why a jacket is being worn in July? Terribly un-British.

[Stuart Whitehouse @djswipez]

@SoVeryBritish Big brand pizzas. £25.99 - really?

[Stuart Whitehouse @djswipez]

@Rupertbell @BobBubkaVOG So sad. Used to love listening to him on Talksport 😔

[Stuart Whitehouse @djswipez]

@thebathams @bathamsKA Regular here - going on X & asking the brewery to enforce a non-smoking policy that doesn’t exist instead of asking the superb bar staff for clarity is somewhat shallow. May I suggest that in future you’re more erudite & vigilant in choosing a pub for your family to enjoy?

[Stuart Whitehouse @djswipez]

@fesshole A fly flew into my van in Fakenham and was with me all the way to Kidderminster yesterday - 160 miles and 3 hours. I called him Frank and when he flew out my van when I got home I actually said out loud “bye Frank” and was genuinely disappointed. .

[Stuart Whitehouse @djswipez]

@TheBishF1 @Motor_Sport Ah - been waiting for this; my first ever tweet to you many moons ago was clarifying your verbal altercation at a photoshoot with him 👌

[Stuart Whitehouse @djswipez]

@thebowlerhatman Well, what I thought was hayfever has blown into a full cold so I’ve had to stop in all day while watching people walk past my house adorned with shorts, shades and tee-shirts.

[Stuart Whitehouse @djswipez]

@thebowlerhatman Such innocence and joy. I wish I was 6 again.

[Stuart Whitehouse @djswipez]

@SoVeryBritish I remember my friend’s house when we were 10 and his dad had a “video room” which was basically a VHS player and a tele in a wooden unit with about 20 VHS (all football-related) tapes. It felt like a different planet.

[Stuart Whitehouse @djswipez]

@thebowlerhatman A fine, fine job. An absolute pleasure!