Deborah Cornelison

STEM educator/learner/consultant/supporter of public schools. Opinions are my own.

[Mike Beckham @mikebeckhamsm]

I immensely enjoyed watching the Oklahoma City Thunder win the NBA Championship last year.

But, I learned more by watching them lose this year.

For the last two years the Oklahoma City Thunder have been the best team in the NBA. That ended on Saturday night when they lost to San Antonio in Game 7 of the Western Conference Finals.

I’ve decided the reason we need sports is because they teach us about success and failure. Every week we intentionally pit teams against each other in a zero sum game. One side will win and one will lose.

We do this because we want to be a part of success. But we also want to learn how to fail from those we admire. We want to experience failure as a part of a community that is disappointed together.

Even the most successful teams have to go through periods of failure and disappointment.

The same is true of us as individuals.

I do a lot of public speaking and I have come to loathe the part where I am introduced. I get it, the point is to communicate credibility so that people will actually listen to me when I speak.

But when I hear my bio it isn't the full story. It is just the highlights. It is a way of telling my story that sounds like an unbroken string of success.

The people who know me best know the deeper truth. For every success I’ve experienced, I can tell several stories about the setbacks that preceded it.

Simple Modern has been more successful than I could have dreamed. But the startup I helped build in the years before founding Simple Modern was a failure that lost millions of dollars.

Those kinds of stories don’t show up in newspaper articles. They should because they are essential.

Success is like a cake and you cannot bake without the ingredients of failure, difficulty and hardship. Without these challenges, It is impossible to develop the skill and perseverance needed to achieve anything worthwhile.

The Thunder failed to reach their goal this year, but as I have listened to their reactions following game 7 I have heard individuals who are:

Owning the failure
Avoiding excuses
Taking personal responsibility
Choosing to trust their teammates
Looking for ways to grow and improve

In my estimation, someone is a “winner” based on their mindset and not the scoreboard. Winners eventually win on the scoreboard because they have a mindset that makes it inevitable.

I’ve been fortunate to have a front-row seat, both literally and figuratively, to the Thunder’s ascension. I’ve learned that the foundation of their success was built when they weren't winning basketball games. Because the foundation is their mindset and culture. Over the last two years they’ve experienced more success than a fan like me could reasonably hope for.

But since their season ended, I realized something surprising. I appreciate the team in defeat even more than I have in victory.

They have shown me, and many other people in this community, how winners approach failure.

[Stefan Moore ★ @2StefanMoore]

People often say, “I don’t know how you survived losing your Child.” The honest answer is that the person I was didn’t survive.

That earlier version of you, the one who laughed without shadow, who trusted the world to stay gentle, doesn’t make it through. That self ends the day your Child dies.

What emerges in its place is something quieter, more scarred & almost never spoken about openly.

You don’t choose to become this new person. You aren’t “strong” in the way people mean. You simply have no other path forward except to keep drawing breath. Grieving parents don’t “survive” the loss of a Child. They reconstruct themselves around the gaping space it leaves behind. A rebuilt nervous system, calibrated to new frequencies of pain. A different language of love, careful & fierce in equal measure. A transformed relationship with time, with joy, with meaning, with the weight of every ordinary day. You learn to walk while carrying something unbearable. You learn to stand in a world that never paused when yours shattered. You learn to live as someone who will always carry the echo of who you used to be.

So when someone says, “I don’t know how you do it,”
the deepest truth is, you don’t.

If these words find the tender place inside you, don’t just let them pass. Leave a 🙏🏻 in comments to quietly honor the person you were before the world changed forever.

Give this a repost so another #BereavedParent can feel witnessed without needing to find the words themselves.

❤️ Ashley ❤️
#Forever13

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

As a parent, I think this video has taught me something useful.

I recommend that you should try it on your kids, too.

I have also shared it with my wife.

Credit: joe_drummer_boy on IG.

[Adam Grant @AdamMGrant]

It's time to remove laptops from classrooms.

24 experiments: Students learn more and get better grades after taking notes by hand than typing. It's not just because they're less distracted—writing enables deeper processing and more images.

The pen is mightier than the keyboard.

[Adam Grant @AdamMGrant]

Being kind boosts mental health more than seeking joy.

Evidence: Doing 3 random acts of kindness a week is enough to reduce depression, anxiety & loneliness. It's more beneficial than doing nice things for yourself.

Self-care feels good, but generosity builds lasting bonds.

[Sahil Bloom @SahilBloom]

Everyone needs to hear this…

The Empty Boat Mindset:

(a visual thread)

[Dr. Bryan Pearlman #MaslowBeforeBloom @DrP_Principal]

Some students will walk in on the first day of school with brand-new shoes, a sharpened pencil, a smile, and a summer full of fun memories—campfires, swimming, travel, and laughter.

Others will walk in with shoes that have holes in them, no supplies, a frown on their face, and an empty look in their eyes—carrying the weight of things they’ll never tell us.

Some will act like they don’t care at all… but secretly hope we do.

The start of a school year is our chance to remind every single one of them: you matter here, you belong here, and this year, we’ll write a story worth remembering—together.

#maslowbeforebloom

[Adam Grant @AdamMGrant]

Our personalities describe us, but they don't define us. Our most important qualities are our values.

Personality traits are the tendencies we have. They reflect our nature and nurture.

Values are the principles we choose. They reveal our commitment and character.

[Tyler Todt @tyromper]

I was 11 & my father sat me down & told me a story that changed my life.

He said when he was 14 he was small in stature, but was friends with everyone.

Freshman year he saw a couple seniors picking on a defenseless kid.

He told them to stop.

They laughed at him.

And Then....

[Inspiration & More @LifeWithJohn]

Faith.
You don't know how things will work out, you just know that they will. ~ Amen! 🙏

[Gratitude HQ @gratefuledu64]

#Grateful for what is yet to come!

[Adam Grant @AdamMGrant]

The best way to gain recognition is not to build a personal brand. It’s to create a portfolio of work.

Branding emphasizes how you want to be seen. Creating highlights what you can contribute.

Image shouldn't be the goal. It should be a byproduct of pursuing worthwhile goals.

https://t.co/l6YaBz2AWn

[Silent Strength @SilentStrengtth]

8 Sentences That Will Maximise Your Social Intelligence: 👇

1.

[OKC THUNDER @okcthunder]

Thunder fans, this is your chance to win one of these team-signed jerseys right in time for the Playoffs! 🎉

Here's how to enter:

- Like & reshare this post
- Comment with a Thunder GIF

[Adam Grant @AdamMGrant]

Our greatest regrets are rarely failures to reach our goals. They're usually failures to uphold our values.

Few people wish they'd been more ambitious. Many wish they'd been more courageous and generous.

Success lies in building a career. Fulfillment lies in building character.

[Adam Grant @AdamMGrant]

We shouldn’t ask kids what they want to be when they grow up. It encourages them to define themselves in terms of work.

Who we become is not a question of career—it’s a matter of character.

The highest aspiration is to be a person of generosity, integrity, humility, and wisdom.

[Deborah Cornelison @dkcornel]

Beautiful tree planted in memory of my sister Angie last week by her church family & tennis friends in Edmond, OK. A meaningful remembrance of Angie, a talented landscape architect/horticulturalist/teacher ❤️