Derek

[Derek @dmojosan]

@MH44954523 @caslernoel What. The. Fuck.

[Derek @dmojosan]

I keep seeing reposts on FB complaining about how self-made people are tired of apologizing for their success. Quit lying y’all I know your story. Silver spoons and platters.

[Derek @dmojosan]

Two tears in a bucket fuck it

[Derek @dmojosan]

You know what goes well with bar food the next morning? Awful coffee at the hotel. #workingtrip

[Derek @dmojosan]

10-year-old wisdom: people didn't know he was gay and his name was Greg Lougayness? #funny

[Derek @dmojosan]

Strawberry Fields. She knows who Lennon is. #imagine

[Derek @dmojosan]

Is it fall yet? #cowboys

[Derek @dmojosan]

David Spade is getting funnier as he ages. #Howard

[Derek @dmojosan]

Empty house? Game of Frones at full blast. #GameofThrones

[Derek @dmojosan]

Deleting the subway app was a little sad. #NYC

[Derek @dmojosan]

Holding back a fart is the first manners we learn. #endofinnocence #dailyobservation

[Derek @dmojosan]

Apparently ignoring your kids while they scream in public is the new thing to do. #parentingfail #notcuteanymore

[Derek @dmojosan]

Why is Boehner blacker than Obama? #StateOfTheUnion

[Derek @dmojosan]

Anger, frustration and bitterness has faded. Hellova year! #DALvsGB

[Derek @dmojosan]

Rondo to Mavs. #maybeidogiveashit

[Derek @dmojosan]

Took her to a movie. Top Gun. Volleyball scene. FML #WorstDateIn5Words

[Derek @dmojosan]

@JamesFrancoTV badass interview replayed on @TheSternShow today. Bummed about the release and can't wait to see it wherever I can. Keepitup!

[Derek @dmojosan]

@recruitawesome Howdy! I uploaded my resume after cracking up reading a job posting. Would love to learn more. #Coolculture

[Derek @dmojosan]

Haven't tweeted in a while. #socialmediagardening

[Derek @dmojosan]

Keanu's new movie has a 94% tomatometer rating. #whereisyourgodnow