derick

one day, but not today

[Dimitri @thedimitri]

New York City is the only place in the world where you can walk 20,000 steps and end the day in a calorie surplus

[Spectre @spectre0799]

2 Hard 4 The Radio but the beat is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

[hope hopes hoping @hopes_revenge]

inventing the concept of a “reverse vacation” where you go somewhere worst than where you live to lock in .

[marina @queeniemarini]

wow nothing unites attractive people more than a new drake album

[Uzane @uzanethegoat]

.@drake thank you!

[🧊 @nothesi]

white kids listen to you because they feel some guilt LMAO absolutely fried them niggas

[YUJI @TIGEROFWESTYUJI]

where are you

[Joe @ThisAintJosiah]

I was in middle school praying every night that their plane would blow up on the runway

[ʇuᴉɐS📍 @saint_cloudy]

absolute rocket. she didn’t deserve that one rumour when we was growing up

[METRO @1youngmetro]

nobodys coming to save you build ya own ladder

[mr. klooper @bobbyklooper]

I hope there’s a story mode where you graduate college and have a career in investment banking

[wapital @wapital3]

i read that 40% of americans don’t have $500 and stopped honking at people, these people gonna blow my head smooth off

[Funny Degenerate @realfunnydegen]

Male baristas don’t deserve tips… go pour some concrete you fuckin pussy

[Thomas White @len0killer]

Crossing the street when I see another white person in Bed Stuy

[Abhiek @macho_nonreal]

You literally have to be unemployed to keep up with AI rn

[Alex @midsmoker34]

I know there’s a Chinese equivalent of me that’s far more efficient at tasks and less addicted to his phone but I also know that he’ll never laugh or love the way that I do. And he’ll never have AMC movie pass

[taoki @justalexoki]

finally snapped and called my claude the n word and he has legitimately never produced better code than just now

[Degen CPA @DrewVento]

Go to the gym today you fatsos

[Heather 🇹🇼 @heatherweixi]

I love March Madness because I always learn about a new school. Never heard of the University of Pennsylvania in my life