Andy

[Andy @doeb]

Kid Rock looks like what Gollum would have been if David Lynch directed LoTR.

[Andy @doeb]

Kid rock is like black licorice; it’s so unpalatable that I can’t figure out how enough people have enjoyed it for it to be well known, just like black licorice.

[Andy @doeb]

Shower thought: if you rest in a restroom someone will probably call 911.

[Andy @doeb]

@TB1Kinobe Oh man, you should have hired a “lazy” carpenter. Looks like shit.

[Andy @doeb]

@OhSoJuiceSwagUp 👍

[Andy @doeb]

@yunvgblava @XXL Huh?

[Andy @doeb]

@TopSecretFyi Huh?

[Andy @doeb]

@V_44115 🤘

[Andy @doeb]

My face when the surgeon tells me the recovery period is at least six months. (ACL reconstruction + meniscus reattachment)

[Andy @doeb]

It bothers me: more than it “should” when, people misuse punctuation?

[Andy @doeb]

Improper use of an apostrophe: Improstrophe

[Andy @doeb]

@iGotEmChoosin I’m not dead

[Andy @doeb]

@peta You obviously don’t know what I’d eat.

[Andy @doeb]

I haven’t eaten oatmeal in over ten years.

[Andy @doeb]

Sick of scam callers? Answer the phone. Give them fake info. Waste their time. Say something funny before hanging up. Time = money: The more time they spend talking to us the less money they make that day and their “business” loses.

[Andy @doeb]

@TiKing4Real Thanks

[Andy @doeb]

@KILLA_J_860 I’m actually more of a grunge and heavy metal guy.

[Andy @doeb]

@VegaaDavonte @nipsey @dolla @LilSnupe You rolled me a spliff? Thanks!

[Andy @doeb]

@V5olid That is NOT like me

[Andy @doeb]

@MarrcMolly Get off