Otiso

[Fact @Fact]

When people say "you've changed " there's a 95% chance that you just stopped acting the way they wanted you to.

[AB⚕ @AbsoluteBruno]

He should definitely be banned for this, WTF!!!
https://t.co/MN5cL4aaOu

[AB⚕ @AbsoluteBruno]

Ngl, this is probably the most satisfying moment of the World Cup😭
https://t.co/DbTYcVVsWL

[𝑭𝒍𝒐𝒚𝒅 ✨ @Floydchels]

🚨🎙️Arsene Wenger on Morgan Rogers transfer to Chelsea

🗣️ “They are getting serious now. They will always be the pride of london. They have two cold players now,Cold Palmer and Cold Rogers. I think they have the best midfield now, Enzo Caicedo and Rogers. Palmer should be able to play on the right wing.

A big club will always be a big club. Arsenal won the league and Chelsea still beat them to sign him. Teams like Manchester United, Liverpool and Chelsea you have to always take them serious. They will always be big. Alonso is my favorite manager because he is the most flexible manager I’ve ever seen.” 👏

[Lynn Ngugi @lynn_ngugi1]

The biggest lesson Ruto should pick from the Ol Kalou by-election is that the will of the people will always prevail.

You started losing the moment you thought you were bigger than the people. The moment you believed no one could question how you’re spending our taxes. The moment you surrounded yourself with yes men instead of listening to Kenyans. The moment you thought appointments and political games would divide people who are united by one thing: they’re tired.

The bribes didn’t work. The intimidation didn’t work. The goons didn’t work. Nothing worked😂😂

The moment you see Kenyans escorting ballot boxes to the tallying centre, they are simply telling you, “Come on, we’re not fools.”

No amount of money, threats or state power can defeat a people who have already made up their minds. WANTAM

[Sen. Karungo wa Thang'wa @KarungoThangwa]

Fr

[Nuhu @CFc_Nuhu10]

Cole Palmer on Xabi Alonso’s first training at Cobham

“First day with the new gaffer and… wow.
Xabi Alonso walks in, calm but you can just feel the intensity. He didn’t shout, didn’t need to. The way he set up the session — everything was so detailed, so sharp. We did a lot on positioning, building out from the back, and then some really intense 11v11s.
He stopped us a few times, not to criticise, but to explain why he wants things done a certain way. You can tell he’s a proper football man — he sees things on the pitch that most people don’t.
For me personally, the way he wants us to receive the ball and find pockets… it suits how I like to play. I’m buzzing already.
It feels like a fresh start. Everyone was locked in. The standards went up straight away. This is going to be a fun season”.

[Kenyans.co.ke @Kenyans]

Menengai High School teacher Fenwich Cyril sets new world record for longest mathematics lesson after teaching for 45 hours

[Ⓝⓖ'ⓞⓡⓞⓡⓘⓔⓣ🐐🇰🇪 @baroswahjr]

His calmness and strategy should be studied 😂

90+ mins winner

[𝗩𝗶𝗴𝗶𝗹𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲 𝗩𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗿𝗱 @vinguard254]

Who is this guy??🤔😂

[Eric @amerix]

A man's end month:

"Daddy, new shoes for church. Mummy said the one I wanted was 2,000."

"Hello dear, also, don't forget to deposit Ray's fees tomorrow. It is 18,000 for Grade 5 pupils."

"Hello Dad, the WiFi isn't working. I have an online lesson for Research Writing this evening. Send 6,500 to pay for its reconnection."

"Hello parents, the Grade 10 Yellow will be going for a Mathematics trip to the Museum of Illusion, Nairobi. The cost of the trip per student is 15,000."

"Boss, the tree on the lower side fell on the cowshed. Fundi repaired it. Send 4,000."

"Hello, dear, my dad's monthly diabetes clinic is tomorrow. Send me 7,000 to fuel the car."

"Baba Ray, good afternoon. Ray took three bunches of bananas for cooking yesterday. The Bill is 1500."

"Bro, the vet treated mum's cow. I paid 100, the balance is 2,900."

"Boss, the balance on the previous repair of the sockets and bulbs was 6,000. Please send me so that I can pay the electrical shop."

"Bro, my husband was severely injured last night after a fight. We are fundraising for his head surgery. As my elder bro, send 3,000."

"Hello, sir, James, the janitor in the maintenance department, lost his wife. We are fundraising. Send 1,000."

"Boss, I will not be there on Wednesday, so bring your car for service tomorrow morning. The bill is 8,000."

"Hello, cousin, I was called for an interview but I don't have fare. Please send me 1,000 for fare and lunch."

"Praise God, brethren, Kevin's wedding committee will sit tomorrow. As the chairman, you will kickstart the fundraising with 25,000."

"Good evening, your gym subscription will end tomorrow. Please pay 2,500 to continue with your fitness classes without interruption. Thank you."

"Hi, I need a favour. My gas went off when I had just put the veggies on cooker. Please send me 3,000. I will refund you tomorrow."

To be a MAN is to bear responsibility for all things.
#MasculinitySaturday

[Eric @amerix]

These people really fooled us.

Fool me once, shame on you,

Fool me twice, shame on me.

[Eric @amerix]

If you are a teacher, especially in a primary school,

Be very careful when handling children of chaotic single mothers.

Teach them and go home.

Don't even correct them when they make a mistake. Ignore them with their tantrums.

Protect your payslip.

[Maria kemunto @mariakemmy]

Whoever this lady is apewe fanta baridi madiaba on my bill 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

[Citizen TV Kenya @citizentvkenya]

Dr. Mukhisa Kituyi: Ruto took to heart this anti-Kikuyu thing when he was campaigning in 2007, when he was telling Luos that we Kalenjins hate Kikuyus more than you do, and we know what he did after the 2007 elections. Now he is using minions like Omar Sarai to insult Kikuyus and upcountry people. Ruto is playing up again, anti-Kikuyuism. How will that help him? How will it help those members of the mlima community, who have struggled like Ichung’wah to appear like they can be rational and still be with Ruto? #JKLive

[Cornelius K. Ronoh @itskipronoh]

Ni mbaya guys! 😂😂😂😂😂

[Video Sharer @JustFollowMe4mo]

@edwinsifuna The surprise birthday cake from senate colleagues was good
But eat with long fork
You have enemies Sir

[Work for Communities @RalphSungu]

@ntvkenya Listen, "fixing economy" during Matatu Owners' strike meeting, which the matatu owners rejected. Wandayi & Broad-Based Gov, watu sio wajinga bwana on Global matters. Kenya a coastal country, is the most expensive in fuel due to taxes. Remove the excessive taxes even power Tokens.

[Mary Kathomi @MaryK2022]

Ruto wants to make sure we are all poor