Himbo Fisher

Not Me Buster

[Himbo Fisher @dominictw]

I think about this like 4 times a week

[NurseBrianRN @rn_murse]

i’d like to order a bowl of cigarettes. for the table.

[Amber @bloodberry_tart]

Michelob Ultra tastes like it would be okay for a baby to drink one

[paige @BonerWizard]

Imodium allows me to keep my poop longer 🫶

[joey @joboduj]

hey siri blow my shit clean off

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

all the other soldiers in the trojan horse: *wildly gesturing for me to stop*

me: *gesturing not to worry they’re for all of us while trying to very quietly open a bag of chips*

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

Beer is amazing, I can't believe we have a human tradition going back ten thousand years of crafting a beverage that makes you get kicked out of Moana

[Jay 🕋☪️✈️ @jay_kobbe]

“odyssey this” “odyssey that” I odyssey those tits

[s @skaterz090]

they hate on me for farting but the biggest stars are full of gas

[David Norman @davidjn_]

Good grief!

[baroque cig burns @jonesisdead]

Showing everyone at the urinal my penis and saying “i’ve had this thing since I don’t even know when.”

[W.E.B. DaBoi @Tyre_94]

Don’t wanna drink on a Monday but my country needs me

[ganii @gahhnie]

the chinese are puffing shit i couldnt even fathom

[Matthew “Mcgonagle” Tkachuk @mcgonagle88]

*Walking into the office with a fucking massive black eye and hungover as fuck*

Manager: how was the weekend

Me: good pretty chill spent some time with family

[Schizo Abe @psych0kn0t_]

When I lived in Florida I touched all over the manatees I don’t give a shit. They want to be touched they’re practically begging for it

[Mads @europemaxxed]

Would you please not vape your fruity flavor around my kids? my wife and i are raising them organically on Marlboro reds

[effectfully @effectfully]

That intense feeling of betrayal when you realize she's laughing at your jokes not because she appreciates your humor, but because she's sexually attracted to you.

[emi @vxmpcore_]

maybe ur cat is meowing bc it wants a cigarette