One of the quietest guys in my office resigned last month.
Nobody really noticed him like that. He doesn't wear expensive clothes, hardly gives his opinions, and doesn't even post anything on social media.
While others would post about their accomplishments on LinkedIn, this guy doesn't care about that. On few occasions he talked, he'd just say:
“Forget LinkedIn jor.”
People mostly saw him as one struggling guy trying to survive Lagos. Others even think he's unserious with his life by being quiet and not making new connections.
On his last day, our manager jokingly asked him:
“So where you dey go now? Hope say no be another small company.”
That was when we found out he was relocating to Canada.
A fully sponsored job, with a far better salary than almost everybody there. Accommodation was also already sorted.
The silence in the office that day was something else.
You see...
People don't understand that not everybody advertises their life while building it. And the fact that someone is silent or not flashy doesn't mean they're not progressing.
Highly ambitious men often make extraordinary partners, but very few people speak honestly about how difficult it can be to be with them. The degree of loneliness that accompanies loving such a man is immense.
You are perpetually sharing him with the future he is trying to build. His mind is occupied by the empire, vision, responsibility of constructing something larger than himself. And because of that, there are long stretches where you feel alone, even while deeply loved.
Men like this need women who possess an interior life of their own, women capable of building alongside them rather than merely waiting for attention. A woman who can contribute meaningfully to the empire itself understands the architecture of his absence better than most.
There is something deeply saddening about this dynamic, yet strangely beautiful too. And truthfully, if it were otherwise, I do not think I would want it. Some forms of love are inseparable from sacrifice.
You endure it for your future generations, for yourselves and the possibility of creating something that exceeds both of you.
If you want to womanize for free, just start talking to as many women as you can. Among those women, few women will just like you without you spending on them