U know Don?

Amateur wine maker, master beer drinker. Being critical of one side doesn't make you all-in for the other.

[Mike Bales 🫡🇺🇸 @MikeBales]

An 85-year-old man had to take a sperm count for his physical exam. The doctor gave him a jar and said, “Take this home and bring back a sample tomorrow.” The next day the man returned to the office and handed him the jar, which was as clean and empty as the day before. The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained, “Well, doc, it’s like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then my left, still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too—first with both hands, then an armpit, then squeezing it between her knees—but still nothing.”

The doctor was shocked. “You asked your neighbor?” The old man replied, “Yep, none of us could get the jar open!”

[Gina Unfiltered @Gina_T1]

Hey @grok, historically, what are the top 7 warning signs a country is moving away from freedom and toward authoritarian control? Short answer.

[U know Don? @donwuzhere]

@TiffanyFong Mess with the bull you get the horns! (In this case whores)

[U know Don? @donwuzhere]

@RebeccFung @HazelAppleyard The boring way is to save and invest. The fun way is to convince someone to give you 10 million. The kicker? If anyone finds out you have it you lose it all. 😄

[U know Don? @donwuzhere]

@FullDozer @HazelAppleyard Nobody would "think" you were a millionaire, because they would already know!

[Mike Bales 🫡🇺🇸 @MikeBales]

A young Chinese couple gets married.

She’s a virgin. Truth be told, he is virgin too, but she doesn’t know that.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.

He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring. ’My darring, he whispers, ‘I know dis you firss time and you berry flighten.’
I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting juss anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?’ he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request.

She eventually shyly whispers back, ‘I want to try something I have hear about from odda girls… Numbaa 69.’
More thoughtful silence from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her …’You want … Garlic Chicken wif flide lice..?

[Steve Clarke @sclarke500]

@Smileyyeg My dad used to say he'd vote for a politician who promised to do nothing, cuz they rarely manage to do anything good.

[U know Don? @donwuzhere]

@NoDMsPerfavore Top or tarp?

[U know Don? @donwuzhere]

@MPelletierCIO @financialpost I think you sugar-coated the massive economic reckoning that is coming but the message is there. Our governments have no clue.

[U know Don? @donwuzhere]

@XFreeze Government and super intelligent are an oxymoron

[U know Don? @donwuzhere]

@shandro The status quo isn't giving us coastal access or economic certainty. Cnrl didn't cite political unrest as a factor to postpone expansion, they did cite regulatory uncertainty. Now ask yourself the source of this uncertainty, and why breaking from Ottawa might actually fix it.

[U know Don? @donwuzhere]

@QueenAnticommie She look like a corpse...

[U know Don? @donwuzhere]

@us_connie Since it's a Ford they will both leave you broke and stranded. 😄

[U know Don? @donwuzhere]

@Coralie4955 @SeanFraserMP Why does Fraser always look like he slept in his car?

[U know Don? @donwuzhere]

@BreannaMorello No mosquitoes or snakes.

[U know Don? @donwuzhere]

@mattdykema Pro tip - Double the tap feedrate, cut your times in half!

[U know Don? @donwuzhere]

@UpperBauer74 @mattdykema If you run performance taps there is no need to peck tap. Ever.