Jordan Walker

Hobbies: Magnets

[Jordan Walker @dordanwalker]

Anyone: “I’ve seen Lord of the Rings”
Me:

[aurelia 📀 @ezraquarius]

he has the range of a potato (compliment)

[Leopold Williams, JD @ClubStauskas]

Bullpen game tonight

[✰ @joyfemmes]

WAIT

[Josh RR Jokien @joshcarlosjosh]

FRODO: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.

GANDALF:

[The Ball Is Orange @theballisorange]

I showed this to my wife and she said “you get to show me 3 more pop tart bowl things and then that’s it”

[Steve Helwick @s_helwick]

The corpse of Frosted Strawberry watches the Pop-Tarts Bowl trophy ceremony/the sacrifice of Frosted Cinnamon Roll from an empty upper deck

[🦆 @cookinquack]

The Pop Tart bowl should be a playoff game

[e l l a 🇨🇦 @blondehotcoffee]

commenting “nightmare blunt rotation” on everyone’s family christmas photos

[Mia K. @miakhalifa]

If Hans Zimmer is scoring The Odyssey I’m going to have a cardiopulmonary contraction

[Cade Onder @Cade_Onder]

me seeing Odysseus shoot the arrow through the axes in 70MM IMAX in 2026

[Randy @randy__vision]

Ohio University QB Parker Navarro when Timothee Chalamet starts breaking down his stats on College Gameday

[zoë rose bryant @zoerosebryant]

i didn’t understand his win either the first time i saw gladiator but then i reconsidered how these are some of the best 30 seconds of cinema simply ever

[Greg Jennings @GregJennings]

That kinda looks like..., you know what, never mind. 🤔

[kim @KimmyMonte]

waiter: are there any allergies at the table?

me (already drunk): BEES

[Graham Marsh @GrahamMarsh904]

If you cheer for the Florida Gators and Jacksonville Jaguars every weekend you may be entitled to financial compensation

[Ted Nguyen @FB_FilmAnalysis]

“The enemy speaks kindly but holds a knife” in real life

[Brett Kollmann @BrettKollmann]

Apparently the key to making D’Andre Swift productive was me finally benching him