You should study what makes you defensive. The topic you avoid, the joke that irritates you, the question that feels insulting, the feedback you instantly reject. Defensiveness is usually the guard dog sitting in front of a weakness you have not trained yourself to face.
The reason you’re unhappy is that you haven’t found the right thing to buy. There’s something out there you can purchase that will make this all go away
I saw a comedian explain a dysfunctional childhood in the best way.
He said “okay yeah I know I am 37 and I shouldn’t still be upset about what my parents did to me as a kid. But let me ask you a question…
If you were in a building with bad foundation would you feel safer on the 37th floor?!”
the universe will softly tell you that something isn’t a good fit for you. people, places, ideologies, careers, social circles. It will gradually turn up the volume until you hear it. eventually, if you still continue to refuse to listen it will violently remove you.