I haven’t laughed this hard in forever. Tears streaming down my cheeks with a belly laugh and maybe a ‘snort’ or two.
Can you imagine being told to do your best impression of something while the audience thinks you are doing something totally different?
I am so doing this with my kids. I know payback is hell, but it will be worth it. 😂
Daycare calls me. That's never good.
For them.
Daycare: "your son hurt his elbow and won't move his arm. Can you come take him to a doctor's office?"
Me (ex Special Forces Medic): "A real doctor is on the way to you now. I am 6 mikes out. Alert me of status changes."
I arrive at daycare. I locate the patient. 21 month old male. Scene is not safe. I drag the patient to cover and concealment behind a seesaw, away from the other small terrorists in the AO.
I begin my assessment. Blood sweep negative for massive hemorrhage. Mental status: conscious and verbal but confused (answers "dada" when asked for blood type). One breath every 2 seconds. Bilateral rise and fall of the chest. Strong carotid pulse, strong bilat radial pulse.
Teeth and tongue intact no blood no mucus no dip or foreign objects. Eyes PERRLA, negative JVD/trach deviation, C-spine intact upon palpation.
Heart sounds strong upon auscultation. Percussion negative for hemo-T. Abdominal quads normal upon palpation. Pelvis negative for book sign.
Arms and legs negative for crepitus. However, Patient indicates discomfort in right arm upon palpation and supination/flexion of the elbow.
Nursemaid's elbow.
I begin interventions. Supination/flexion technique complete at 1215. Palpable clunk on successful reduction. I write the time on his chest in Sharpie. I tape a popsicle to his hand and tell the patient to suck but do not bite/chew. I write "1 x popsicle (10g sugar)" on his chest in Sharpie.
I reassess the patient after performing interventions then package the patient for handoff to daycare/higher level of care. I yell at daycare over the Blackhawk in my head: "21 month old male!!! Nursemaids elbow!!! Treated with supination/flexion technique at 1215!!! Patient has 1 x popsicle onboard!!"
Daycare: "sir please leave."
Me: "you should have called my wife."
This video is PEAK comedy gold. I felt this in my SOUL. 😂
“Can’t stand these fckn bicyclists” — my brother, you just narrated my morning commute.
He nails it: Grown-ass men in skin-tight neon spandex outfits looking like a pack of radioactive Power Rangers, riding three-wide like it’s the Peloton Championships on a residential road. No one’s handing out medals at the cul-de-sac, Kyle. You’re not transporting a heart for surgery. You’re just expensive, slow-moving road geese with $10k carbon fiber attitudes.
One? Fine. Eight? That’s a tactical formation. That’s how civilizations fall.
I’m honking, I’m crying, I’m in agreement. Save us from the Lycra Legion. He nails every reason I can’t stand the bicycle militia.