Downman

I got cancer, my dad died and my son tried to kill himself in a 3 yr period in my 30s. I am lost. Trying to put the thoughts I don’t want my loved ones to see

[Downman @downman_]

I’m pretty scared to go back but I think I’m capable of staying clean. And if I do fall I have to get straight back up. #ODAAT right?

[Downman @downman_]

Sorry about being away but every time I came on here and said I was doing well I seemed to collapse afterwards. The last one was pretty bad, my mental health plummeted, I started drinking heavily and getting high in the mornings, lunchtime and night. I felt like I was slowly …

[Downman @downman_]

dieing and was not sure if I cared. I decided to get the fuck out of town and go stay with people I knew didn’t take drugs in a city I didn’t know where to score from. That was 3 weeks ago, so yeah I’m now 21 days clean and feel pretty great. I have to go back home next week …

[Downman @downman_]

@EleanorRigbyATX Thanks. 7 days now, gonna keep going

[Downman @downman_]

7 days drug free (incl 1 alcohol free too) even turned down getting high after my friends funeral. I’m kind of proud of myself.

[Downman @downman_]

On here I try to think about tweets, but yeah all I actually want to saY IS FFFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK

[Downman @downman_]

My wife just told me that if I’m still fucked in July she’s off. All I can think is “I’ve got a few weeks yet”’

[Downman @downman_]

I never made 17 days. I was too excited by 16. I haven’t made 1 day since then. I’m high as a kite and totally ashamed. Dickhead.

[Downman @downman_]

15 days and counting odaat. But really looking forward to going to therapy tomorrow, walking in and saying 16 days before I even say hello.

[Downman @downman_]

10 days drug free. I’m fucking amazed and feel pretty good.

[Downman @downman_]

I’m a bit overwhelmed by all the comments and likes. Too many for me to keep up with but I appreciate each one. I guess the best way to say thanks is to keep going. So far day 9 is going well

[Downman @downman_]

8 days clean. If I make it till 10 that’s the longest I’ve been clean in as long as I can remember. I’m actually doing it.

[Downman @downman_]

Day 3 (non prescription) drug free. I feel ok in the mornings and increasingly anxious as the day goes on. But im doing it.

[Downman @downman_]

I look like shit

[Downman @downman_]

5 years cancer free today. Time to start looking forwards.

[Downman @downman_]

I love basically everything in my life, but I don’t love me anymore

[Downman @downman_]

Yeah Everton aren’t helping my mood.

[Downman @downman_]

@DGHuchy @keepcomingback_ Wow that’s fucking awesome and strong. Well done.

[Downman @downman_]

I’m going to bed reasonably sober, mainly drunk not that high. Taking it as a win-ish. Trying to look positively at stuff like I used to

[Downman @downman_]

@Kimbog6 I’m alright. It frightened me but I’m still here, haven’t been sober but not used much, got a meeting with my therapist moved forward.

[Downman @downman_]

I’m going to bed now but I’m going to wake up tomorrow and feel exactly the same