Lauren Mullen

I don't know what I'm doing either.

[Jennifer Lynn Barnes @jenlynnbarnes]

One time, I was at a Q&A with Nora Roberts, and someone asked her how to balance writing and kids, and she said that the key to juggling is to know that some of the balls you have in the air are made of plastic & some are made of glass.

[Lauren Mullen @DraggingFeeties]

YM ES KHC 2021-2022 WO-21786: Samantha Mullen https://t.co/EzxYbzd3aK

[Gabe Delahaye @gabedelahaye]

I still struggle to understand what world the GOP hopes to lead? A disease-ravaged wasteland of gun-toting racists defending their landlord’s property from the roof as floodwaters rise under a moon-projected space ad for Capital One? OK! Almost there!

[IT WAS NEVER GOING TO BE ME @solomonmissouri]

Bud ...

[mankrik's wife guy @byelacey]

"normalize--" NO. normalize nothing. everything you do is weird now. you're free

[rusty epstein @rustyepstein]

I discovered @Shopify's "business name generator" tool is actually a ton of fun when you tell them your business is something like "murder"

[SpacedMom @copymama]

Competitive Dadding: Vacation Edition, in which my husband saw a car driving to the beach with a kayak on top and said “Pshhh, that’s a one-person kayak. We have a 3-person kayak on the roof AND a cargo carrier, that guy’s lame.”

[albert instein @bugl0rd]

"why didn't we learn this in high school" bitch we did but you were drawing a picture of an eye

[Joshua @imJoshAdams]

Someone just spent thousands of dollars to write “Joe Rogan is literally 5 foot 3” in the skies of Los Angeles and honestly money well spent.

[jordan @jordan_stratton]

In awe of the courage it took the first guy to add the “salad” in potato salad

[Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire]

I’m sorry I kicked a hole in your wall. I meant to roundhouse your face but my hips are tight.

[Sarah McGonagall @gothspiderbitch]

so did anyone else know that there was a massive pool noodle battle planned between all the people named Josh today that was ultimately won by a 5-year old named Josh who was crowned The Supreme Josh or was I just supposed to find this out on my own

[Lauren Mullen @DraggingFeeties]

Husband: Remember, during the disaster at Knoebels--
Me: That's an amusement park, you mean Chernobyl.
Husband: Right. What's the triangle chocolate?
Me: ...Toblerone.

[Sara Says Stop @PetrickSara]

I’m not very crafty.
Oh, this?
This is my attack glitter.

[Lauren Mullen @DraggingFeeties]

Daughter: What were you doing in 1994, mom?

Me: Ooo that was the first year I was allowed to dye my hair. That was cool!

...I mean, my parents also got divorced and my grandpop died, so there's that.

Daughter: But it was a great year for your hair!

[Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire]

Let’s be best friends but like the kind who admire each other from a distance but rarely speak.

[Isaac G. Bryan @ib2_real]

Just to be clear....
No one should ever be shot at with a taser during a routine traffic stop either.

[Lawrence Hurley @lawrencehurley]

“I’m here live, I’m not a cat,” says lawyer after Zoom filter mishap

“I can see that,” responds judge

[Avalon Penrose @avalonpenrose]

a normal person explains what’s happening on the stock market: