Regular Marc, No Theme

Once more with feline

[Regular Marc, No Theme @drcigarettes]

Any room’s an escape room if you’re dumb enough.

[Regular Marc, No Theme @drcigarettes]

Hit a Pinocchio with my car the other night. Just ran out in front of me. Felt nothing. Just kept driving.

[Regular Marc, No Theme @drcigarettes]

I see there’s no “Hanging out with their good friend Marc, who they’ve never met and don’t know” line item.

[Los Campesinos! @LosCampesinos]

📈 Los Camp! Present Their Tour Accounts
🔍 https://t.co/bnTzuu88FI

A breakdown of every penny spent and earned on our sold out 2024 North American tour.

In our continued pursuit of a transparent and honest Music Biz, here’s EXACTLY what the situation is for Los Camp!.

[Regular Marc, No Theme @drcigarettes]

@HTMLtheBand Turns out I don’t need to smoke weed to google stuff like this

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

if u say no to pretzels, the flight attendant should give u something called a Coin of Restraint. while worth nothing now, these coins will play a major role in the afterlife

[Conner O'Malley @conner_omalley]

Irish Zionism

[Regular Marc, No Theme @drcigarettes]

New York is so much more than just the place where our movie takes place. It was also the boom operator.

[Regular Marc, No Theme @drcigarettes]

I have no nipples, Focker, and I must be milked

[The Ten Thousand Man @slime_machine]

they HALO jump john fetterman into the dead center of tehran, buttass and fucked up on crystal. the ultimate weapon. but he gets porno mad and starts flinging around IDF guys so they have to flamethrower him and he’s just yelling

[Regular Marc, No Theme @drcigarettes]

Had a guy at the bar ask if the holiday fruit cherry we garnish my “Appletini” with were from nature and I reflexively said “yes but not under the watchful eyes of a loving or caring god” and he asked me, genuinely, how I learned to talk like that.

[Regular Marc, No Theme @drcigarettes]

Showing this photo to a loan shark named Joey Pliers and watching him click “Buy Now” on a new pair of pliers.

[Bring a Trailer @Bringatrailer]

Now live at BaT Auctions: 1993 Geo Tracker LSi 4x4 5-Speed w/Camso Track System. https://t.co/0S4On59NrV

[Regular Marc, No Theme @drcigarettes]

One of the many things I don’t miss about living in NYC are the cocktail bars that stay open during major snowstorms and act like that makes them saviors of the community. A neighborhood dive sure, but who NEEDS to go to Employees Only during a blizzard?

[Regular Marc, No Theme @drcigarettes]

For 150 years, milk has been the only liquid of cereal. I aim to change that. There will be a new cereal that requires a different liquid, and will even be repulsive with milk.

[Regular Marc, No Theme @drcigarettes]

Me when I’m being enlarged to show detail: Arghhhhh not again!

[Regular Marc, No Theme @drcigarettes]

Can’t wait to find out Epstein convinced Gary Vaynerchuk to create Resy to use American Express user data to figure out which restaurants private equity firms should buy.

[Regular Marc, No Theme @drcigarettes]

Elon: Can I come play on the island pleeease?

Maxwell: Actually the island… exploded, so we can’t have anyone there anymore

Epstein: C an I t=ext yo u?

[Regular Marc, No Theme @drcigarettes]

Good: You say “oh my gosh” and “cheese and crackers” to avoid taking the Lord’s name in vain.

Bad: God hears you and understands in context your invocation of a deity. You are flagged for worshipping a false idol.

Verdict: Hell

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

I think I'm going to get back into chocolate milk. Besides stirring up my yogurt real good I'm hardly an active participant in my own life

[Regular Marc, No Theme @drcigarettes]

They’re ousting Bovino because they finally lab-synthesized a new freakish imp with a Schutzstafell birthmark.

[Regular Marc, No Theme @drcigarettes]

Guy looking at a ceiling fan in 1922: I need to put that in some kind of cup so I can make soup.

[Regular Marc, No Theme @drcigarettes]

@nopoweradeinusa Had a barback like this. Hosted a devastating private funeral and in the middle of people sobbing and wailing into the mic he came up to me and pulled out an eight ball. Not my kindest “c‘mom man.”