my VC pitch horror story:
i took a meeting with a billionaire who wanted to lead our round.
he pulled up in a car worth more than the entire raise and told me he made his fortune putting “radio on the internet”
then asked what our ROI was.
i started to answer.
he meant Radio. On. Internet. that was the joke. he’d driven there specifically to do that joke.
spent the next forty minutes explaining that serious companies have three commas in their valuation and ours only had one.
at no point did he ask what the product actually did.
he wired the money anyway.
I was once pitching in a board room at a top 3 VC firm for a $15M Series A.
12 people in the meeting. One of the GPs fully fell asleep. Out cold for 30+ minutes. Nobody acknowledged it. Everyone just kept going.
I kept presenting my Series A slides to an unconscious man in a Herman Miller chair and somehow that was considered normal. That's venture capital.
You might fly across the country to perform for people who may or may not be conscious.
It's a dance.
And sometimes you lead and sometimes you follow and sometimes your partner is unconscious.
If you're raising right now, just know: every founder has a story like this. The process is weird. The power dynamic is weird. You're not crazy for thinking it's weird.
No one talks about it because they want to continue raising. But I'm happy to stick my neck out there.
It is weird.
hiring for startups is hard. you're spending dozens of hours sifting through noise when you could be spending it tackling other high-leverage goals for your company.
so what can you do?
ultimately what you really care about is this:
- will this person give a shit and run through walls when you need them to.
there is no way to ask that question without finding a bunch of people who are willing to say yes even when it's not true.
stop asking. start looking.
the people who run through walls have always run through walls. usually somewhere unglamorous with nobody watching. some examples:
- they have a side project they shipped on a weekend that no one asked for
- they had a job that was beneath them that they crushed anyway
- they fixed a thing because it annoyed them - not because it was assigned
that's more of a signal than what comes out of a persons mouth.
then here's what you actually do:
- give them real work, not interview riddles. a paid trial beats "tell me about yourself" every time
- watch for when things get hard. do they come back with questions or go quiet?
- check if they gave a shit before you paid them - did they research the company, use the product, follow up unprompted?
- on reference calls, don't ask "were they good." ask "when did they surprise you"
"give a shit" leaks out everywhere. it can be found in the speed of replies, the questions no one told them to ask, and the details they caught that everyone missed.
you're not trying to get someone to say they'll run through walls.
you're looking for the person who already did back when no one was looking.