Dr. Garfleid M.D.

Man I do it all for lasagna

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

Lady just came in for a Brazilian Butt Lowering, i dropped that shit down to her knee-pits.

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

Now offering lasagna with designs on the ‘pasta’

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

I now offer tattoo removal. Don’t ask what I do with the tattoo skin afterwards

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

Don’t tell anyone but I’ve taken a flesh memento from just about every man I’ve operated on

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

Fuck the poor.

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

Hex market is going real strong… considering raising my prices

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

I could take on Sauron 1v1 🚫🧢

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

I have mastered the art of summoning teeth… all dentistry 25% off until Tuesday

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

Free appendectomy with any hex, you don’t need that shit just get it out now!

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

I do hexes now

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

Decided to settle on Yorktown, way cheaper than New York and I think Old York is under water or something

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

Definitely didn’t meet any sort of warlock on my journey from Old Mexico up to Yorktown

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

Shit wait alakasagna

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

Alakazania

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

No alchemy though, that shit is fuckin out there. Let big pharma make the drugs I’ll just sling em.

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

Been dabbling in sorcery lately… a bit of wizardry.

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

Para bailar lasagna! Para bailar lasagna es necesito something something spaghetti lalala

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

Update on Old Mexico: while El Lasagño is tasty, my anus does not agree. I will be moving my practice to York, not sure which one yet though.

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

Thinkin bout movin to Old York…

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

@fleshcave …don’t worry about it

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

Looking for the perfect Valentine’s Day gift? I’m currently offering a special on human hearts, buy one get one half off!

[Dr. Garfleid M.D. @drgarfieldmd]

I would like to specify that this deal is buy one heart: receive 1.5 hearts.