Alec

so shines a good deed in a weary world

[Alec @drinkthief]

i wish i could swim

[Alec @drinkthief]

yeah, i’m done for now. good luck to you all then.

[Alec @drinkthief]

yeah after opening this app and the first suggested post being a man shitting himself, I think its safe to say my time here is done

[Alec @drinkthief]

@magee_reilly yes!

[Alec @drinkthief]

all good things must come to an end… i’ve decided i have too many opinions on things. welcome to my final 3 days of twitter.

[Chris Fleming @chrisfluming]

elon musk’s twitter journey is very jack skellington trying to do christmas

[Amanda Brooke Perrin @brookeperrin]

My hungry, hungry guys

[Alec @drinkthief]

Unknown. Unknown. Delaware. Unknown. Unknown… That’s a perfect score! #Severance

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Man Wouldn't Have Worn Costume To Work If He'd Known He Was Getting Laid Off https://t.co/H3orzHO7ix

[Alec @drinkthief]

this year i’m getting about 1 in 5 that know my costume and I will call that a success 😌

[Chris Fleming @chrisfluming]

twitter, once a haven for the socially undercooked to flirt, will now be a dark haven for ice bath men who eat things that make them sick

[Alec @drinkthief]

@Reasonableradio They’re so disorganized right now. I submitted a change of address months ago and they lost it and I’m still waiting on a response from the last time I called them

[Alec @drinkthief]

@wesjm22 maybe if my guitar teacher wasnt galavanting about in silly mythical places like “maine” I would take more lessons

[Alec @drinkthief]

i dont think songs need to have key changes anymore

[Alec @drinkthief]

trying to make jokes and laugh about how brainwashed my grandparents are these days to not take it so seriously but god it’s really just…really sad

[Alec @drinkthief]

making small talk with Swifties about Midnights dropping like talking to dads about sports before the big game

[Reductress @Reductress]

I LIVED IT: I Had to Use One of the Big Spoons: https://t.co/H7gokV7tDk

[coco @litl_dth]

horseradish is NOT GOOD!!!!!!

[Alec @drinkthief]

can you imagine how much more successful phishing emails would be if instead of hiding the virus in a link to RARE!! PEN1S ENLARGING!! SUPER B3RRY!! they put it in the Unsubscribe button on a Kroger newsletter or a politician newsblast asking for more campaign contributions

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Man Up To 8 Soul-Searching Walks A Week https://t.co/58qjArSx5R