Dave R.

Puns, Politics, Other brain vomit.

[Dave R. @druczhak]

“We don’t want billionaires!”

Ok.

“Wait, really?”

Sure.

Here ya go.

“No! Not like that. The other way! How do you f that up.”

[Dave R. @druczhak]

@EffinBirds You misspelled start.

[Dave R. @druczhak]

“Nice dress.”

“Thanks! It has pockets!”

[Dave R. @druczhak]

Palestinians: living in the most hotly contested land in the history of humanity.

Donny Plump:

[Dave R. @druczhak]

Me… 13 beers deep… headed to the bedroom to put the moves on my unsuspecting wife: #Tyson

[Dave R. @druczhak]

@MarkHamill @RandyRainbow

[Dave R. @druczhak]

“Let’s inspire young voters!”

Young voters:

[Dave R. @druczhak]

This will be appealed all the way to the Supreme Court Total Landscaping #34

[Dave R. @druczhak]

@notcapnamerica This is the best tweet.

[Dave R. @druczhak]

@TheMasters Ashkay listed at 62lbs on Wikipedia hahaha. Does Augusta have a weight requirement?

[Dave R. @druczhak]

@Daniel_Rapaport Wikipedia listing him at a svelte 62 lbs is his best stat. lol.

[Dave R. @druczhak]

@GeorgeTakei

[Dave R. @druczhak]

Yo, fr, I heard trump bible got tiddies in it tho.

[Dave R. @druczhak]

@RonFilipkowski Never forget.

[Dave R. @druczhak]

Poorly explain a movie in one sentence:

[Dave R. @druczhak]

@VoteDarkBrandon is crushing it! #SOTU

[Dave R. @druczhak]

Today… I was robbed by @acmemarkets

[Dave R. @druczhak]

Breaking news… nbc doesn’t know what South Carolina looks like:

[Dave R. @druczhak]

Don’t ever feel bad about wasting a little money.

Ron DeSantis just spent 150 million dollars to embarrass himself.

Go ahead, get the venti. You’re still way ahead.

[Jon Favreau @jonfavs]

Kissed the ring just six days later!

[Dave R. @druczhak]

Hello. I am now married. Thank you.