Drunk Fatbert

#Marathoner - #Athlete - #Drunk - #Fat #GreatShape "Fat, Drunk and Stupid is no way to go through life son" - Dean Wormer | “I beg to differ.” - Bert Kreischer

[Drunk Fatbert @drunkfatbert]

@bertkreischer, you should marry this broad and procreate.
Fuck knows, your #luckyeyelash plus her pube might produce?

@tomsegura @joerogan @AriShaffir @madflavor

[Drunk Fatbert @drunkfatbert]

@CBSNews @andersoncooper @60Minutes @CNN

Last night’s story on @StormyDaniels.
That was it?
I watched that story, and thought, “So what?”
I figure Trump nailed her.
She accepted $130k not to discuss it.
She has made some statements that it occurred and others that it did not.

[The Bad Game Show @allthingscomedy]

Congrats on your sobriety @WheelerWalkerJr This is the coolest.

I already got a #Grammy from @SnoopDogg #Repost #grammys

[Doug Benson @DougBenson]

Too many dabs. #Vegas

[Drunk Fatbert @drunkfatbert]

@DougBenson
Doug is having a better night than all of us.

@joerogan @bertkreischer @tomsegura @DanVankirk @SammLevine @madflavor @adamcarolla @Jokoy
@Danielkellison https://t.co/kCmzxoEXIN

[bert kreischer @bertkreischer]

Hilarious - @twitter suspends @arishaffir all over some stupid vinal record - Can’t wait to get home and thumb through these collectibles at my leisure! #momsmabley #FreeAri

[Drunk Fatbert @drunkfatbert]

@bertkreischer @Twitter @AriShaffir In a world where we can all laugh at @joerogan’s face, can’t we all get along?

[Joe American @Joe_American_]

If you regularly see #nude #people walking around who are not using #suntan lotion in #yourcountry, you live in a #shithole.

#JustFacts
#USA

[Drunk Fatbert @drunkfatbert]

@bertkreischer @AriShaffir Yeah, where are you Ari?
If you are awake you can join me on my second marathon of the day.

[Drunk Fatbert @drunkfatbert]

@bertkreischer Puget Sound.
@AriShaffir

[Drunk Fatbert @drunkfatbert]

@chrisdelia @ChristinaP @tomsegura @chrisrock
@adamcarolla @GinaGrad @gpatricksmith @DawsAngeles @KrystynaHutch @PhilanthropyGal @madflavor @NikkiGlaser @iliza https://t.co/fqeqNIpWwn

[Drunk Fatbert @drunkfatbert]

@dwatkinsworld You are a giant piece of shit.
I can’t believe how you share @DaveChappelle’s jokes in your crap article.
How do you know what every person in the audience is thinking?
Go fuck yourself.

@billburr @AriShaffir @joerogan @bertkreischer

https://t.co/0jG2BWx9k6

[Drunk Fatbert @drunkfatbert]

@dwatkinsworld You are a giant piece of shit.
I can’t believe how you share @DaveChappelle’s jokes in your crap article.
How do you know what every person in the audience is thinking?
Go fuck yourself.

@billburr @AriShaffir @joerogan @bertkreischer

https://t.co/0jG2BWx9k6

[Drunk Fatbert @drunkfatbert]

#YearOffOfSirof NO YEAR OFF OF SIROF

More @bertkreischer, @madflavor and #JeffGarlin

I’m shitting you on Jeff Garlin. He’s a weirdo.

[Drunk Fatbert @drunkfatbert]

https://t.co/FdNp1kqjUD
If you need help:
Ask a friend to help you call
tel:[phone]

@AriShaffir @tomsegura @bertkreischer @DougStanhope @joerogan @billburr

Please share. https://t.co/g9Za049JHo

[Drunk Fatbert @drunkfatbert]

@RemingtonArms the new 870 with a 6 shell magazine, does that mean that shells can be within the stack magazine and also in the tubular magazine?

[Drunk Fatbert @drunkfatbert]

@_LindseyLove Stunning. Have a great day.

[Drunk Fatbert @drunkfatbert]

@_LindseyLove How can such a tiny girl have such a beautiful big round ass?

[Drunk Fatbert @drunkfatbert]

#metoo
@diabetes is raping me with @Breyers, @Doritos and @TitosVodka
Help me @NBCNews

@AriShaffir @joerogan

[Drunk Fatbert @drunkfatbert]

Right after I run two marathons this morning I will be trying out for the @RamsNFL. They haven’t asked me, but I know I can do it and will be better than whomever currently is the starting kicker.

@bertkreischer @AriShaffir @joerogan @tomsegura @joshwolfcomedy @DougStanhope https://t.co/4L43x9fKy6

[bert kreischer @bertkreischer]

I’m pretty certain, given a couple months of training, I could be a professional field goal kicker in the NFL.

[Drunk Fatbert @drunkfatbert]

@NikkiGlaser @ChicagoImprov Gosh darn it. I need to keep better track of the amazing comedians who are in town. #Fuck!
Nikki is one of my faves.