jedimacktheknife

INTJ

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

@NoContextHumans To pay taxes yearly on a home and property we already own. I know there probably some reason for it. But my little brain is like waiiiit this seems odd 😂

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

@PicturesFoIder Land before time

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

Shout out to the unprecedented times of the last 3 years to free me from shackles of always leaving the house with a bra. Most days now I can’t find my bra even after 15 minutes of searching. If you think you have seen a nip or two this summer. You did. You’re welcome.

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

This millennial adulthood is giving major “ you’ve been scammed “ energy. My therapist insists that I’m still young at 32… but why my ankles hurt when the weather changes? Riddle me that? I want a full refund … not store credit… where is the manager 🔎🔎🔎🔎

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

I’m in my “I wear perfume to bed at night, because it has drastically improved my sleep habits” era. It still takes me forever to wind down and fall asleep… but wearing perfume has helped! A win is a win.

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

When throwing it out to the universe “ I want my back broke” I did not mean I wanted to wake up barely able to move because I slept wrong. That’s the complete opposite of what I meant!!!

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

It’s no longer fall. Winter happened. And now we are in the previews for spring. Hi!

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

@itsmegkehoe It’s flag on the play, yards lost, incomplete pass, fumble … to use 🏈 terminology.

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

It’s fall.

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

I stand by what I said previously ….unless this could be guaranteed 😝https://t.co/rDxabLjDrA

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

I’m aware I could be blocking my blessing. But you can be the nicest, kindest, smartest & hottest person… but if one of your pics is of you in a racing bib… I swipe left. I just can’t risk falling in love with someone who might race on holidays. Sorry babe. I’m sorry.

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

I’m aware I could be blocking my blessing. But you can be the nicest, kindest, smartest & hottest person… but if one of your pics is of you in a racing bib… I swipe left. I just can’t risk falling in love with someone who might race on holidays. Sorry babe. I’m sorry.

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

@itsmegkehoe Do it !

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

I’m in my “ it’s wash day and I know I still got product visibly in my hair, walking around bra-less in meijer at 9pm, with sock and sandals” - era I love this for me. I love this for you.

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

Not me waking up at 8:15 in a panic Thinking “ oh no” I need to get my day started before I clock in. It’s Saturday. I don’t work today. I need a vacation. Lol.

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

You finally reach adulthood and realize that weekends aren’t really for play. They are for recovery. Like when the coach pulls you out of the match for 3 minutes… before throwing in back out there for another 45+ minute depending on what sport you play.

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

@itsmegkehoe Felicity I feel you girl … I feeeel you.

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

I’ve said this before but…. Sometimes I wanna be an influencer but other times I just wanna be influenced.

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

Getting your hair done is therapy too!

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

I’m use every single one of your @Kiehls products without asking the next morning type of petty. Play with me… imma just get prettier. Thanx bby!

[jedimacktheknife @dschumack]

Bless up for my therapist. she really is the 🐐!