Derek

📍Nashville | Boston |🥁| Former Hockey Beer League All-Star

[Derek @dsprague55]

@pubity That’s quite the sting operation

[Kevin Malone @Malone_Wealth]

BREAKING: For the first time in history, the average pound of ground beef is higher than Federal Minimum Wage. Everything is not fine.

[FLIGHT ATTENDANT @FlightAttndnt]

We’re back and bringing our friends in The Props with us! Tray table up 🛫

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

The Afroman Trial.

-Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons.
-Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up.
-No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman.
-Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras.
-Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives.
-During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat.
-The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation.
-Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit.
-Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them.
-One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife.
-As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE.
-The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman.

This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

[Derek @dsprague55]

@FBIDirectorKash Make sure to ice your knees tonight, you’ve been spending a lot of time on them!

[Derek @dsprague55]

@Olayinka_135 @AsakyGRN Yup they can perform them! He sold his recordings, and from there, any money that comes directly from the streaming/use of the recorded song (ie. Spotify, Apple Music, TV/Movie Sync earnings) goes to the buyer.

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

I love how there's a separate Superbowl halftime show just for the pedophiles

[Derek @dsprague55]

@45CoachBen @ThatCREWLove @NESpower They all suck. Bill lee isn’t doing shit right now either

[NFL Memes @NFLMemes]

"FINALLY! A Super Bowl without the Chiefs!"

[Bhaskar Sunkara @sunraysunray]

Batted .196 for the Yankees in his playoff career, was absolutely carried by immigrants to the World Series in 2009.

[FLIGHT ATTENDANT @FlightAttndnt]

Suprise‼️Tickets on sale Friday @ 10am
https://t.co/BhEUTAgKQP

[FLIGHT ATTENDANT @FlightAttndnt]

Nashville!!! We have a FREE show Tuesday night :) Doors at 8pm - We play at 11‼️But get there early, we think it will fill up! Sharing the stage with our good friends in @connorkellyattw & @NordistaFreeze || @VisionParallel @skinnydennisbar

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Trump Spends Entire U.K. Trip Trying To Figure Out Where He Knows Prince Andrew From https://t.co/W6tLkbx37C

[Derek @dsprague55]

@UberEats thanks for not refunding my money when I never got my food this afternoon!! Pieces of shit

[FLIGHT ATTENDANT @FlightAttndnt]

SHIPPING UP TO BOSTON TONIGHT ‼️

[FLIGHT ATTENDANT @FlightAttndnt]

LOS ANGELES TONIGHT 💃🕺

[Derek @dsprague55]

@FlightAttndnt @TheMintLa 👀👀

[FLIGHT ATTENDANT @FlightAttndnt]

Hey LA friends!! We’ll be playing @TheMintLa Friday night 🪩We’d love to party with you

[FLIGHT ATTENDANT @FlightAttndnt]

Playing @BasementEast for the first time next week! Join us for a fun show for a great cause! @TNBrewWorks #advocatingopportunity

[Derek @dsprague55]

@joanieny12 @WallStreetApes Please show proof of illegals getting social security. You’re being lied to, they don’t.