DSSchatz

Singing, dancing sports freak. I guess that makes me the halftime entertainment.

[DSSchatz @dsschatz]

My husband and I have developed a signal for leaving Zoom calls. He shrieks, “STOP DIGGING YOUR NAILS INTO MY KNEE.”

[DSSchatz @dsschatz]

Gonna bill 5 hours today to Force Majeure.

[Nathalie with an h @nnnatchos]

Me: There is no perfect food
Vendor: Cheese fondu in a baguette to go?

[DSSchatz @dsschatz]

We need a word for that feeling you get when your spouse, from the changing table, yells YOU GOTTA SEE THIS.

[Louis Virtel @louisvirtel]

I cannot believe Bob Barker lived as close to 100 as possible without going over.

[One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom]

I’m sorry for what I said while I could hear people chewing loudly.

[US Open Tennis @usopen]

If a better point of tennis has ever been played, we've never seen it 🤣

[James Levine @JamesHSLevine]

One of my all-time pet peeves is when people define terms in documents and then don’t use them.

[Mac Crane @mcrane12.bsky.social @mcrane_12]

the perfect day doesn’t exi—

[Thomas Carrieri @Thomas_Carrieri]

Big Papi seeing the ball from the final out of the 2004 World Series at the baseball Hall of Fame.

[DSSchatz @dsschatz]

“First annual, by the way.” 👑

[Kyle @SonOfUhGunn]

This dude should be awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom I’m dead fucking serious.

He should run for president and do nothing but play this video.

[DSSchatz @dsschatz]

@Molly_McDowell “First annual, by the way.” 👑

[Kristen Mulrooney @missmulrooney]

“Sleep when the baby sleeps.” Oh yeah? While I’m driving?

[Find me on BlueSky as @itsdlevy.me @itsdlevy]

There is a sad irony watching a Facebook group for fans of the musical Follies whine about how things were better in the past and things are terrible in the present... because if there's one thing Follies has to say, it's about the uncomplicated joy of nostalgia?

[DSSchatz @dsschatz]

There is no better alarm clock for my baby than the sound of the shower.

[Find me on BlueSky as @itsdlevy.me @itsdlevy]

Every doctor should offer a workshop for patients entering middle age about understanding the difference between "this is just what your body feels like in your 40s" and "this might be the onset of something terrible."

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

Having allergies is so embarrassing. Could I have some medicine? I’m being bullied by the air.

[Terrible Maps @TerribleMaps]

When the namers in Porters Lake, Nova Scotia ran out of ideas

[DSSchatz @dsschatz]

Genuinely thought this was from @TerribleMaps at first glance.

[New York Metro Weather @nymetrowx]

Probability of more than 1” of snowfall in the next 3 days

[DSSchatz @dsschatz]

@ecachette Gift card for a food delivery service.