dan:) 🕳🚶‍♂️

mansplain manifest manipulate bf and gaslight gatekeep girlboss gf

[Wes Field @WesAField]

His and Hers

[Canyou ⚜️ @Valkyrie_Fleur]

When the doctor asks for a stool sample:

[Wong Updates @WongUpdates]

AMC Theatres is implementing a controversial new policy to crack down on bad theater etiquette.

“If we see a phone or hear you talk, our employees have the legal authority to shoot you.”

(via: https://t.co/JML8uJKHU8)

[dan:) 🕳🚶‍♂️ @dumbdeaddan]

I concur. Random child said 6 7 next to me and it made me want to fillet him

[Mira Gonzalez @miragonz]

do not recommend seeing backrooms on opening weekend. at one point the guy next to me just said "that's the backrooms" at full speaking volume

[kkeyy @maximommy777]

look at my boss dawg hes gonna get me killed in a liminal space… isnt he 🥀🥀💔💔💔

[nat! @natsmut]

drug before drink you'll pee in the sink..... drink before drug...... you're seeing the bug.....

[playful peter @w0rldmap]

Finished wordle, crossword, connections, spelling bee, strands and sudoku. Time to go to the liquor store

[alex @vaudevillehook]

Is rack city walkable

[dan:) 🕳🚶‍♂️ @dumbdeaddan]

me when I have a silly hypothetical everyone takes too literally

[dan:) 🕳🚶‍♂️ @dumbdeaddan]

you will end up as someone’s hood ornament doing the speed limit on florida highways

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

👀

[Ἑρμαφροδιτος @stupidizicel]

i genuinely cant stand the monotony of daily life i wish there was a quit button that wasnt as big as suicide why cant i just quietly disappear from existence

[ali @probablyalissa]

Hi please don’t vape around my baby. We’re raising him exclusively on Marlboro reds.

[dan:) 🕳🚶‍♂️ @dumbdeaddan]

I’m sorry coc, I wasn’t familiar with your game 🙏

[Clash of Clans @ClashofClans]

Live like a Queen.

The Foot Tribute Bundle is now live. Cast in perfect detail, bare and unapologetically regal. A decadent indulgence for the truly refined. Judgment fades, elegance lingers.

The Shop awaits your most cultured decision.

[Lucco @Lucco_01]

@NorthernIion_LP cruise captain obama be like: uuuuh let me steer

[Elai @elaifresh]

“Can you name these flags?”

“I don’t think you’re allowed to call them that”

[Evanosaurus “Unrawrl Engine 5.8” Rex @evankinney]

“we are 2 white colored foreigners riding motorcycles across china” is now the only phrase i can confidently say in mandarin

[State of New York @NYGov]

it’s hole filling season