if the chiefs don’t fire matt nagy by week six I’m going to carve the words “bubble screen” into my chest and hang my limp, lifeless body on a light pole outside of arrowhead
[handing you a handgun and opening a door revealing mr beast hog tied on the floor]
I didn’t buy you anything off the registry — i thought the choice of life or death would be a better wedding gift
[right arm in a sling]
i know what you’re thinking but this isn’t from jerking it too hard since the divorce, actually hurt it in my slow pitch softball league last week
the cars passing me this morning must know of the chiefs’ loss. “swerve lanes.. crash into me..” they say ever so quietly. the thought of drifting into oblivion crosses my mind as hey there delilah plays in the background.