Devin Mart

The Word of Wisdom

[Devin Mart @dvnmrt]

if the chiefs don’t fire matt nagy by week six I’m going to carve the words “bubble screen” into my chest and hang my limp, lifeless body on a light pole outside of arrowhead

[Devin Mart @dvnmrt]

commenting “where’s the shirt from” on a video of a ukranian drone chasing a russian soldier

[Travis Kelce @tkelce]

"said OO Girl!! shocked me like an electric eel!"

[Crusader of Christ ⚔️ @Defendthewest17]

Trump just announced that all Jeep owners with those “gay little ducks on the dashboard” will be handled

[Devin Mart @dvnmrt]

an event of this magnitude in the cars universe would cause civil unrest never before seen

it would not be a day they would soon forget

[Brendan Gutenschwager @BGOnTheScene]

Multiple Waymo vehicles set ablaze here in LA

[Devin Mart @dvnmrt]

[handing you a handgun and opening a door revealing mr beast hog tied on the floor]

I didn’t buy you anything off the registry — i thought the choice of life or death would be a better wedding gift

[Devin Mart @dvnmrt]

pressed the soft spot on my head a little too hard and now I can’t see colors

[Devin Mart @dvnmrt]

[right arm in a sling]

i know what you’re thinking but this isn’t from jerking it too hard since the divorce, actually hurt it in my slow pitch softball league last week

[Devin Mart @dvnmrt]

pope leo will bring about a holy war to the midwest with bloodshed unlike anything seen before, nebraska will become a shadowed valley of death

[Devin Mart @dvnmrt]

one hundred of my closest friends were killed by a gorilla and you’re laughing

[Devin Mart @dvnmrt]

must not know how much I love hot dogs

[Isabelle Krause @Isabelletkrause]

There is no greater love than this.

[Devin Mart @dvnmrt]

the cars passing me this morning must know of the chiefs’ loss. “swerve lanes.. crash into me..” they say ever so quietly. the thought of drifting into oblivion crosses my mind as hey there delilah plays in the background.

[Devin Mart @dvnmrt]

just realized the only reason I’ve found myself in a thirteen year depressive spiral is because I stopped listening to matchbox twenty

[Devin Mart @dvnmrt]

matt nagy being put down via lethal injection would bring me joy comparable to what i imagine the german people felt when the berlin wall fell

[Devin Mart @dvnmrt]

sky moore should be disassembled like a spare car to provide usable joints for hollywood brown and rashee rice

[phil @warmfourloko]

hell yeah benihana up in this bitch

[Devin Mart @dvnmrt]

thinking about the power i formation this morning 😌

[Devin Mart @dvnmrt]

realizing my childhood dream of being an olympian is dead now that I’m 27 and have only mastered excel shortcuts

[Queen Liza🩷🤍💙 @KrystalWolfyAlt]

Jorkin depeanus vance

[Devin Mart @dvnmrt]

just remembered I’m an orthopedic surgeon - i might just be the man for the job

[Bleacher Report @BleacherReport]

Cameron Brink was carried to the locker room after an apparent leg injury

Hope she's okay 🙏