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[‏ً @dyklumi]

Ft. @RUSHMOREonX | @JerrySeinfeld | @BeingLarryDavid

[‏ً @dyklumi]

Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David reveal how Seinfeld created everyday phrases like “close talker,” “double dip,” “yada, yada, yada,” and “master of my domain.”

Host: “The phrase I’ve used with you, ‘close talker.’ How did you come up with that one?”

Larry David: “There’s probably 200 in the audience tonight. Just people who have no sense that they’re talking like this to you, and you have to keep backing up until you fall.”

Host: “A close talker.”

Larry David: “Yeah. But there’s not only close talkers. There’s loud talkers.”

Host: “Okay, regift. Where did that come from?”

Larry David: “That was Burger, Chafer, regift.”

Co-host: “How about double dip? I didn’t know this kind of happened from Seinfeld.”

Larry David: “You dip once and end it.”

Host: “Everybody uses the phrase ‘blank Nazi.’ Soup Nazi, this Nazi…”

Jerry Seinfeld: “We were asking, ‘What’s going on in New York?’ And [Spike Feresten] said, ‘For lunch, we go to this place that the guy’s really hostile, and they call him a soup Nazi.’ And we went, ‘Let’s hear more about that.’”

Larry David: “It’s amazing how often writers would be talking, and they didn’t know that they had gold.”

Host: “Who came up with yada, yada, yada?”

Jerry Seinfeld: “Peter Mehlman.”

Host: “And one of the greats of all time, ‘master of my domain.’”

Jerry Seinfeld: “That came from us playing with not using the word masturbation. We thought it would be more fun to just slalom around it.”

[‏ً @dyklumi]

@whotfislumi life is actually crazy

[‏ً @dyklumi]

Jennifer Lawrence reveals what happened during her Hunger Games audition that made the director cry

Alex Cooper: “You’re 20 years old when you get Katniss. I need to know what you remember about going in for this audition.”

Jennifer Lawrence: “I remember stopping to buy candy before and eating it in the parking lot, and then it was at the director Gary Ross's house in his office above the garage, and he cried in my audition.

Alex Cooper: “Did you think you got the part?”

Jennifer Lawrence: “No, I don't think I thought
it was that. You're so superstitious about it.”

Alex Cooper: “You're like, ‘I don't want to jinx anything.’ And did they film it? Like, have you ever rewatched your audition tape?”

Jennifer Lawrence: “They did film it, but I don't ever want to see one of those. Oh my God, ever.”

Alex Cooper: “Wait, but if it made people cry, like, Jen, this is good!”

Jennifer Lawrence: “I don't care. I don't know what I was wearing. I know it wasn't good.”

Alex Cooper: “You don't want to go back to that? You don't want to relive the glory days?”

Jennifer Lawrence: “No. And like, why did I stop my car and eat a bag of candy?”

Alex Cooper: “Well, it clearly worked.”

Jennifer Lawrence: “Yeah.”

[‏ً @dyklumi]

Ft. @alexandracooper | Jennifer Lawrence

[‏ً @dyklumi]

Larry David reveal he almost quit Seinfeld after executives tried to change the show

Host: Was there ever a moment when they gave you notes on the show and you said, “I’m out, i’m done, i’m not doing this, i’m leaving”?

Larry David: “Oh, yeah, they gave us their ideas for the next season, things they didn’t like and things they did like”

Host: You weren’t going to follow any of their notes?

Larry David: “ i wasn’t doing any of it, and i was quitting”

Jerry Seinfeld: “I was just so entertained. He said, ‘this is what the show’s about, and we’re not changing it’”

Larry David: “I said that in the meeting, yeah.”

Jerry Seinfeld: “We wanted to do a show about absurd little conversations. We didn’t want big plots…which, of course, we ended up having anyway”

Host: “How long was the meeting?”

Larry David: “Short, he would always calm me down, he’d say, ‘don’t worry, it’ll be fine.’”

[‏ً @dyklumi]

Elsa Jean says her sugar daddy gave her millions and paid for her entire life from age 18

Caller: “How much money did you make before you got into the business, and how much did you make during your first year?”

Elsa Jean: “Before I got into the adult industry, I was a stripper, and then I had crazy sugar daddies.

James: “So you got a taste of that OnlyFans life before it was even a thing?”

Elsa Jean: “My OG sugar daddy has probably given me millions, i’m not joking, he carried my life from 18 until January 7th of last year.”

James: “January 7th of just last year?”

Elsa Jean: “He paid for my whole entire life. That penthouse I had in New York, in Central Park, was him. $10,000 a month.”

James: “Why did it have to stop?”

Elsa Jean: “I cut it off just because I want to carry myself

[‏ً @dyklumi]

Ft. @sircalebhammer

[‏ً @dyklumi]

Caleb Hammer is stunned as a woman reveals her husband cheated on her with her best friend while she was recovering from surgery

Caleb Hammer: “No! Best friend?! This show and cheating.”

Female Guest: “He cheated on me with my best friend, my only friend, i was recovering from surgery

Male Guest: “You call that cheating? I don’t even remember. I needed a break too. I wanted that breathing room.”

Caleb Hammer: “Oh my goodness, this is insane. Why would a 10-year-old even think about that?”

Female Guest: “My son called me from the car, bawling his eyes out. He said, ‘Mom, Dad’s been in there for an hour.’ He’d been sitting in the fucking car for an hour.”

[‏ً @dyklumi]

Ft. @jimmykimmel

[‏ً @dyklumi]

Jimmy Kimmel mocks Trump’s rambling speeches and his desperate attempts to save republicans in Texas

Jimmy Kimmel: “Trump traveled to Texas to campaign for Ken Paxton, repeatedly claiming James Talarico is a vegan who pretends to like meat.”

Donald Trump: “You ever see him go to a barbecue and he’s trying to show, ‘I love the meat.’”

Jimmy Kimmel: “I have a feeling that’s going to come up frequently during Pride Month.”

Donald Trump: “Nobody knows how to pronounce it yet, I don’t know.”

Jimmy Kimmel: “It’s becoming increasingly difficult to tell whether it’s the racism or the dementia talking.”

Donald Trump: “Go home, go home, go home!”

Jimmy Kimmel: “Wouldn’t it be a shame if people started yelling that everywhere he goes?”

[ִֶָ @wtf_is_he]

“My Ex is a Pedophile” Rosie Nelson on the chilling moment a hidden SD card changed her life forever.

“So, I started looking, there were a couple of boxes. I lifted the lid of the first one, lifted the lid of the second one, and there it was, in with a whole load of electrical cables and stuff”

“Grabbed it, walked off. Um, when I got to where I was going, looked in the back and there was something in there and I thought, "Well, that's a bit odd." Um, so I pulled it out and it was an SD card, I think you call them, the tiny little cards that go into whatever.”

“So I thought, it's a bit strange. Um, so I put it into the, iPad, the Apple iPad, and this box popped up, bottom left, and there was a small child there.”

“So, I ripped it out of the, computer and sat there and just thought, "Of course it's not, that's just absolutely mental." That's just ridiculous. So, I put it back in and this time a box popped up with a load of titles.”

“And all of the titles, every single one was something, you know, pretty horrendous. Um, and I just thought, "Oh, my God, this is actually what I thought it was."

“Yeah, you just can't believe it. Can't believe what you're seeing. You can't see that and ever forget what you've seen. It never leaves you.”

[ִֶָ @wtf_is_he]

“Karma's a Bitch”: Bonnie Garmus on how she got the ultimate payback on the man who took credit for her idea.

Elizabeth Day: "And didn't years later someone who was in that meeting came to a book signing?" 

Bonnie Garmus: "Yes, he came to a book signing armed with 10 copies of the book for everyone who'd been in the meeting that day." 

Elizabeth Day: "That's brilliant." 

Bonnie Garmus: "Yeah, and he, uh, he had actually been kind of a friend of mine, but we'd never, we'd never spoken after that meeting. And, um, he told me, you know, he said, 'I knew what I did was wrong that day and I knew it almost immediately when I went home that night and I was reading to my two young daughters and I was reading them a book about how they could be anything.'

“And he said, 'And I realized, I like to think I'm not part of the problem, but I'm part of the problem.' And he said, 'I'm, I apologize, later now, I apologize for that meeting.' Um, and he said, 'So feel free to sign all these books for every person in that meeting and write whatever you want.' I said, 'You know, I'm not going to hold a grudge”

“however, for that one vice president whose name is still on my work, let me autograph that one for him.' And I personalized it and I just wrote, 'Karma's a bitch.'"

[‏ً @dyklumi]

@wtf_is_he “karma’s a bitch” is a crazy thing to write in a book and send back to the man who stole your work, she waited years for that moment 😂

[‏ً @dyklumi]

Ft. @alexandracooper || Jennifer Lawrence

[‏ً @dyklumi]

Jennifer Lawrence tells Alex Cooper the one thing nobody warned her about after childbirth

Alex Cooper: “How did you know you were ready? And did you feel ready?”

Jennifer Lawrence: “I wanted to be a mom for so long, and, you know, didn't find the right person, and then I found the right person.”

Alex Cooper: “What were you completely unprepared for?”

Jennifer Lawrence: “You know, your vagina will bounce back, your butthole won't.”

Alex Cooper: “I don't know if I needed to hear that before giving birth! I'm like, ‘wow, wow, Jen.’”

Jennifer Lawrence: “Everybody's like, ‘your instincts, your instincts!’ you have no idea what you're doing.”

Alex Cooper: “Jen, what's going to happen to my butthole?”

Jennifer Lawrence: “I'll tell you, i will tell you, when i can get into a heated place. I'll show you.”

[‏ً @dyklumi]

@whotfislumi he’s so unserious lmao

[‏ً @dyklumi]

Matthew Cole gets grilled by Jon Stewart over his Trump-Russia claims

Matthew Cole: “At the time they were terrified, as were most of NATO allies, that Trump was a Russian spy.”

Jon Stewart: “Why didn't they talk to the Biden administration in 2020?”

Matthew Cole: “Intelligence agencies spy on countries all the time. That's literally what they do.”

Jon Stewart: “This is a big MacGuffin, and you're asking us to go with you on a big MacGuffin.”

Matthew Cole: “Would you recommend it to others?”

Jon Stewart: “I don't think most people are readers.”

[‏ً @dyklumi]

@oluwxtosin Matthew of course

[ִֶָ @wtf_is_he]

Trevor Noah Exposes the One Secret Every U.S. President Shares

Trevor Noah: In the United States of America, if you want to win an election, all you need to have is a strange voice. Simple as that. You want to be president of the United States, get a strange voice, you're done.

“Yeah, forget policies, forget ideas, that's boring. You come out there, here are my boos: "Normal-sounding ass bitch." No, you come out there with a strange voice, the people love it.”

“You realize there's been no American president who has a normal speaking voice. None. Now, you can go back as far as you want. None of them spoke normal.”

“None. Go back like, who? Like, like JFK. JFK, he didn't speak normal. He had that thing like, "Ask not..." That's not normal. I don't care what anybody says, that's not normal.”

“You telling me that man was standing in a McDonald's ordering food with that voice? 'Cause they're like, "Could I please get a number one medium with fries? And I'll also have a McFlurry, please. What do you mean the ice cream machine is broken?" That's not normal.”

“No American president speaks normal. None. Bill Clinton, he didn't speak normal. He always did that thing where it sounded like he was trying to seduce the audience, you know? They're like, "I do not have sexual relations with that woman..." What are you doing?”

“No American president spoke normal. None. Barack Obama, he didn't speak normal. He always did that thing where it sounded like his voice was buffering: "Uh... as Americans, uh, we got to try to get a faster internet." That's not normal.”