Emma Olsen Spratt

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

@TLC let me know what we can do to keep #brotherhusbands from getting scrapped.

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

Bill Hader is having a damn moment. I couldn't be happier for him.
I just he doesn't forget about me 💁

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

Like, I bet now he wouldn't even want to be brother husbands with @IncredibleCulk and my current husband.
So much for that plan.

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

@mshannabrooks That is just JD, but with hair.

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

@SpotlessPod Is that a mouse pad? Because I think that a Spotless mouse pad would be super useful in my life.

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

@SpotlessPod Sprinkle baking soda, then rub with a half a lemon, then wipe with a damp cloth. The baking soda acts as a fine grit, and counters some of the lemons acidity, so it (probably 🤷) won't damage your counter.

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

@kthcswll That is the most Chihuahua thing I've ever seen. Which is literally the definition of the judging criteria.

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

@mshannabrooks Anything food related, I find cute. Muffin, biscuit, tater, etc.
I groom a dog named Taco. Obviously I love him.
And really human names, I groom a pair named Mike and Carol. I've also met a dog named Robert. That was delightful.

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

I wore the right shirt
"Lord, give the strength of a mediocre white man"

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

I'm at the business factory, churning out business.

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

WG1
"god chose you, you didnt choose Jesus"
WG2
"It's like some people's hearts are hardened"
🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

Ok!!! They are now talking about Johnny Carson.
And trains.
And the body's of girls they went to high school with.

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

"They wanna impeach him, you ask em why, they dont have a reason! Chasing women maybe, but I dont care about that"

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

I'm dying over hearing Robin Young say "motor boating"
https://t.co/MmIK6x6s2o via @hereandnow

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

When you get the extra-hot hot sauce, to make up for the fact that you are a non Spanish speaking Mexican.

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

Today I find out that they are no longer doing Punch cards, and are switching to an app.
All of this is just to much stress on our relationship.
It's not me, it's you. I'm sorry @HumanBeanNoCo, but I think we should spend some time apart.

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

About a year ago (two year maybe?!) @HumanBeanNoCo opened a coffee stand less than a mile from my work.
We have had a very good relationship, until recently.

[Emma Olsen Spratt @e_spratsen]

Having never been slighted like this before, I figured it was just a mistake, and that the Bean had hired some dog hating monster that would soon be found out, and fired.
BUT IT HAPPENED THE VERY NEXT TIME!!!