Beth Michaelson

[respectful huff @alexqarbuckle]

Great, now everyone knows about Madison Square Garden. I was gatekeeping that

[Tom Smyth @Tom_Smyth_]

travis kelce is requesting the cupid shuffle as we speak

[leaf123 @notaweirdgirl]

girl shave your elbows we’re going to tallahassee florida

[cam has entered the villa 🏝️ #isafc @seodilf]

carl sitting inside the cake hearing everyone say they miss him

[𝒟 @DetSparty_]

Star spangled banner just mogs all these other anthems badly

[sola @solaleveling]

Convinced that sincere learned sign language just so he could lie to deaf people

[🤠 @heavensbvnny]

Remember, it's illegal to use your phone while driving. Instead, use the giant iPad built into the car and flip through 50 settings to use navigation or turn ac on.

[playful peter @w0rldmap]

Finished wordle, crossword, connections, spelling bee, strands and sudoku. Time to go to the liquor store

[swinky @swinkying]

you’re on Very thick ice with me . i love you

[Softboy @softboywin]

When someone’s email address isn’t @ gmail it’s like wow you are one interesting chica

[#3 sisterwife but #1 in his heart @prettycritical]

don’t really feel like washing my face tonight, so i’m going to pretend to fall asleep on the couch. the body protects you from acne when it thinks you didn’t do it on purpose.

[A @seattleiminyou]

I am the hottest person from rows 21-33 on this plane

[hunter @3gpmh]

thank you apple photos for consistently featuring people i would blow up given the chance

[nile @nileandah]

this is my version of an egot

[🅿️ @the_P_God]

I totally dominated you at the museum dude. Pondered every piece for a couple seconds longer. Scratched my chin with more curiosity.

[jbolina jolie @pastapilled]

I suppose what easter is teaching us is that it has to be so over before we're so back

[⋆KMꜝ❤︎ @mskmalibu]

Early bird shit u wouldn’t get it

[black pepper cracker @__angoose]

Pioneering the “Irish Hello” where I turn up unannounced to a friend’s location

[The Frustrating Individual @MILFmassacre]

face ID has recognized me in moments i wouldn’t have recognized myself

[Kalon Fullerton @cowlonfull]

You do genuinely think you’re going to be the first person ever to fill out a perfect bracket when you make it. And you fall for it every year