Lee Morris

Commander of the Armies of the North. Loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. Pizza & ManU fan

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

@rickygervais
Xmas Day.
Camilla goes 'Let's play 20 Questions. You've gotta guess what I'm thinking of.'
What she's thinking of is a black man's cock.
Charles goes 'Is it bigger than the bread bin'
'Yes.’
Philip goes 'Can I put it in my mouth'
'Yes.'
Queen goes 'Is it a black..’

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

@bensuffdonk Is that DJ Smile?

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

Oi @XboxSupport explain this you ballsacks!!!

Maybe if @BillGates wasn’t so busy planting microchips into everyone he could focus on translating download speed into DOWNLOAD SPEED 🖕🏻

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

@fesshole Completely get it. It’s the same at work 👊🏻

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

@JamesHayesy You wouldn’t even be able to have that as a fantasy football name

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

@JamesHayesy @JCorcoran_3 Hahahaha yeah

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

@adamjt11 @JamesHayesy Hahahahahahahaha

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

@PhilipJBerry @MissFlyByNight I read some of the comments and yours was easily the best I saw

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

@JamesHayesy Thing is, no one’s underestimated me. They know how good I am. I’ve been estimated.

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

@PhilipJBerry @MissFlyByNight Very good 👏🏼

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

Watching the Queens guard today thinking how useless they’d be in a war. “Mate, they’re coming at us with tanks. What do we do??!”
“Dazzle em with our perfect square formation 🙌”

What are they gonna do next? Jazz-hands them to death?

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

@JamesHayesy My penis is ready

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

@emilynaughtonn Jam obviously 👊🏻

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

Is a scone with jam and clotted cream a dessert?

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

@Ben_Spence23 @therealjt84 Commission rescinded

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

@PhilipJBerry Where?

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

What’s more blasphemous?

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

Played my bench boost and had 7 players not start and 5 of them not play at all. Just fuck off @OfficialFPL

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

@NoContextBrits

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

When it’s 10:59am and you realise it’s the #FantasyFootball deadline at 11:00am 😂 @OfficialFPL @JamesHayesy

[Lee Morris @easy_leezy]

@MTRNICA It’s like watching @therealjt84 vs @el_seale that time we had a practice game of 5 aside 😂