Darren Ezekiel

[. @nxganussy]

Who would you cast as a live action Gwen Stacy?

[Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais]

When I call back Domino’s a second time to let them know it’s been over an hour and my pizza still hasn’t been delivered.

[Darren Ezekiel @easypeasykill]

@Kristian_Marc I think they just wanna get a closer look at your tattoos la

[Jemaine Clement @AJemaineClement]

Humbled to be included in this list of dads that people would like to F in 2022.

[no context memes @nocontextmemes]

The Simpsons

[Tom Mitchell @cakesthebrain]

As a teacher, you’re sometimes privileged to witness life moments. I saw a girl approach a boy to ask if he wanted her number.

He paused, then pulled out his phone. Utter joy on the girl’s face.

I then confiscated the phone as it’s against rules to have it out in the corridor.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

The reason I forbid masturbation is not that it's a sin but that every time you do it, I have to watch.

[Stormzy @stormzy]

🥹❤️

[Mark Watson, still here but very much also Bluesky @watsoncomedian]

Just at Tesco. There was a dispute over whether a guy had jumped the queue ahead of a woman. It escalated, the two of them yelling, security involved. The woman got her phone and said ‘I make one call, you will be killed’. Surely you’ve got to save that card for bigger stuff.

[kira 👾 @kirawontmiss]

who the FUCK іs keeping cranberry juice in business

[Porter @ItsRetrop]

nah these halloween costumes getting outta hand 😭

[rico @somethinglovely]

me creating a playlist

[Valerie Norton @valeriecnorton]

Babe are you okay? You’ve hardly touched your charbooterie

[Blockbuster @blockbuster]

When everyone owes you late fees but you’re out of
business...

[THE BOYS @TheBoysTV]

One ticket for the Barbie movie

[Darren Ezekiel @easypeasykill]

@wlaoehpls Don’t understand why he consistently needed to capitalise “gay”