eatsleepmomrepeat

I'm at the Facebook: @sampsychmeds @scarymommy @bluntmoms

[eatsleepmomrepeat @eatsleepmom]

@AndyAtAirport @BWI_Airport @Enfamil @AlmondBreeze What the actual fuck is that? I’d sooner sit on the middle of the airport hallway floor and breast feed buck naked then voluntarily lock myself with all the other mothers and children is some 8x 4” crazy pod ..#fuuuhhckthat

[eatsleepmomrepeat @eatsleepmom]

@AndyAtAirport @BostonLogan @AppleSupport Oh my god Andy, I’m finally catching up with your account and I’m dying laughing. This one is my favorite ...

[eatsleepmomrepeat @eatsleepmom]

Aubrey’s been teaching school lately and these are her pupils...

#schoolforwierdos #academyofcreepy

[eatsleepmomrepeat @eatsleepmom]

Aubrey announced she’d like to change her name to Stacy. Im on board, bc that would make me Stacy’s Mom. And Stacy’s Mom has got it going on

[eatsleepmomrepeat @eatsleepmom]

“If you spill my coffee, I will get rid of your college fund”
~actual words that came out of my mouth this morning

#punishmentfitsthecrime

[eatsleepmomrepeat @eatsleepmom]

I call this masterpiece “Tired Mom Wraps Stupid Boots”...
(#everybodyclaps)
#xmaseve #procrastination #parenthood

[eatsleepmomrepeat @eatsleepmom]

Hubs and i went hungover to get a tree with the kids...then the texts started coming...
#penistree #parentingfail

[eatsleepmomrepeat @eatsleepmom]

Bc it wouldn’t be as fun if I waited 20mins in line if I didn’t get to the front to find I forgot my wallet- and have a kid who has to poop

[Chelsea DeBoer @ChelseaHouska]

YEEEES 😂😂😂😂 https://t.co/u1QBQhVNZS

[eatsleepmomrepeat @eatsleepmom]

Mark my words...someone's gonna be pissed about the juice box in the trash tomorrow am...
#momwin #juiceboxscore

[eatsleepmomrepeat @eatsleepmom]

If I get sent to hell, It'll be a Target, where I'll be forced to shop with my kids for other kids' birthday presents for all of eternity.

[eatsleepmomrepeat @eatsleepmom]

"Mom what's a loveshack?"
"It's a vacation house."

#alternativefacts

#momlife #kids parenting

[eatsleepmomrepeat @eatsleepmom]

I love starting my day off with unreasonable demands and verbal abuse...
#lifewithkids #mustbeaschoolday
#momlife #kids #areapainintheass

[eatsleepmomrepeat @eatsleepmom]

Just bought Mexican cucumbers at the Whole Foods in silent protest..
#shithappenswhenyoushopangry
#NoBanNoWall #TrumpBan #ImpeachPOTUS #mom

[The Bacon-Nate-or @bacon_gillepic]

Daddy long legs...how is that a real name for an insect

[eatsleepmomrepeat @eatsleepmom]

I wanted to do something special over school vacation week. So I did nothing. And it was awesome. #parenting #mom #momlife #kids #truth

[eatsleepmomrepeat @eatsleepmom]

It's normal my kids quote Billy Madison every day on the way to school, right? #backtoschoolbacktoschooltoshowmymomimnotafool

[eatsleepmomrepeat @eatsleepmom]

Long day that started early and ended late. But tree is lit, wine is poured and #stressaway is… https://t.co/tZ0l5fkKhA

[eatsleepmomrepeat @eatsleepmom]

One more hour left in my cyber Monday deal! Free thieves cleaner concentrate, free Christmas… https://t.co/lHf5WwlXj0