I had initially advocated for Ben White's departure,but upon further contemplation,I have arrived at a radically different conclusion: Ben White's contract should be coterminous with Mikel Arteta's tenure.
White isn't merely a footballer; he's a grandmaster of footballing skullduggery,a virtuoso of the dark arts,and an indispensable provocateur. At a time when football is increasingly inundated with sterile idealism,he remains a steadfast custodian of glorious shithousery.
More importantly,these alleged " dark arts" have culminated in a league title after 22 years of waiting and have reduced our haters into a state of perpetual lamentation. For that reason alone,I'm inclined to advocate for an escalation rather an a cessation.
Next season, Arsenal should not merely employ the dark arts; we should institutionalize them. We should marinate games in gamesmanship,garnish them with calculated mischief,and season them with a level of psychological warfare that leaves rivals in a condition of existential despondency.
Our victories should be ignominious, exasperating,deeply humiliating,and utterly soul-crushing to those who harbour animosity toward the club . Every last-minute winner should feel like a personal affront. Every cleansheet should resemble an act of bureaucratic cruelty.
The incessant demand that football exist primarily as a vehicle of neutral entertainment is a proposition I reject entirely. Supporters of other teams are free to seek aesthetic fulfilment at their own clubs.
Arsenal isn't obligated to to entertain y'all, it's to accumulate trophies while simultaneously accelerating pain and collective psychological deterioration our rivals.
Your anguish is merely an incidental dividend.