Emily Schaffer

[Emily Schaffer @eemilyschaffer]

@connieschaffer4 don’t do drugs, kids😀

[William H. Macy @WilliamHMacy]

Goodbye Shameless. End of an era. Finale this Sunday on Showtime.

[kurtis conner @kurtisconner]

damn bitch r u a bike trail cuz u actin like a cycle path 😳

[President Biden Archived @POTUS46Archive]

We're back in the Paris Climate Agreement.

[bfox @belllamfox]

It’s that fat fucks last day hallelujah

[Emily Schaffer @eemilyschaffer]

@noelle_joy_ward Greg Heffley🙃

[kurtis conner @kurtisconner]

cool fun things to say after sex:

“wow babe that was total vine energy”

“I’m thinkin’ Arby’s”

“I think you’re the Zodiac killer”

[☆ ‧dreamboy·˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

sorry i stopped talking to you for two weeks out of nowhere do you wanna have sex

[kurtis conner @kurtisconner]

me: “yo this edible ain’t shit”

me, 1 minute later:

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

a republican on tv just said “it’s important to remember there are just as many people disappointed as there are celebrating in the street” no there aren’t we literally counted

[Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen]

Just made the most perfect ad for @JoeBiden's campaign.

[Emily Schaffer @eemilyschaffer]

so when does he start injecting himself w the disinfectants🤔

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Tonight, @FLOTUS and I tested positive for COVID-19. We will begin our quarantine and recovery process immediately. We will get through this TOGETHER!

[Gwendolyn 🦋 @xgwendyx]

Yea 6 rounds of sex sounds good right now

[Kyle Ford @KFordCB9]

COVID cases at JMU are steeper than the stairs by D-Hall.

[prance @bocxtop]

Chadwick was the first superhero a lot of black kids could really look up to and identify as. That kind of legacy is...unparalleled and today we found out he was a superhero in real life too, battling cancer while entertaining millions. That strength is rare, Rest in Power King.

[ab d. roger @aliabdi]

my professor just started off the zoom class by saying “we are going to talk about p0lice brutality do we have any blue lives matter folks in here so i can mute you” lmaaaooo what a king

[Emily Schaffer @eemilyschaffer]

ever drive 3 1/2 hours w the music all the way up windows down nd when u get where ur going ur ears j can’t stop ringing, it’s been like 20-30 min

[Emily Schaffer @eemilyschaffer]

I’m about 5 seconds away from dropping tf out of college why is college prep stuff so damn hard