Mike Ingram

I ran for an office I thought was a waste of money, on the platform of eliminating it. I won, and then we eliminated it.
he/him.

[Mike Ingram @electmikeingram]

@ak48503 @DojaCat Ah, yes, that famously straight saying.

[Mike Ingram @electmikeingram]

Watching this hilarious @MikeRogersForMI Ai nonsense with this feeling that I'd seen this before...

Is Michael Cera on here? 😂
#arresteddevelopment

[Mike Ingram @electmikeingram]

@RonFilipkowski Anyone else unable to think about anything but this?

[Mike Ingram @electmikeingram]

Can't keep up with the changes but this seems to be the 5/30 iteration of the schedule!

-Vanilla Ice
-Flo Rida
-Fab, who only lip-synced in Milli Vanilli
-Freedom Williams if y'all keep pissing him off
-Trapt, begging for gigs or change in the lot
-Donald Trump
#freedom250

[Mike Ingram @electmikeingram]

It's a good thing Nick Cannon wasn't announced for this #freedom250 catastrophe, because even if he wanted to I'm not sure he has the ability to pull out.

[Mike Ingram @electmikeingram]

@GhostsofPapi @paulinaVEVO That's wild because you give off sex beggar energy.

[Mike Ingram @electmikeingram]

@KatiePavlich The most amazing part is that you're learning the wrong lesson from all that shit you just typed. 😂

[Mike Ingram @electmikeingram]

@reedgalen Because it's a parody account?

[Mike Ingram @electmikeingram]

I just need #UIUC alum @seanseaevans to know that a few of us in the city of his alma mater have turned his spicy interview show #hotones into a live music gig, which adds an extra layer of torturous fun.
The fine folks at The Space live for creating increasingly spicy wings. 🔥

[Mike Ingram @electmikeingram]

@RepJackKimble Masterful trolling, sir. 😂

[Don Winslow @donwinslow]

This video encapsulates Donald Trump's Iran strategy.

[Dan Pfeiffer @danpfeiffer]

JD Vance with everything

[Mike Ingram @electmikeingram]

@LeadingReport When you've gotta distract people from the war that you started to distract from the Epstein Files.

[NBC News @NBCNews]

ICE agents will be stationed outside graduation events for the nation’s newest Marines to identify whether any of their family members are undocumented, according to the Marine Corps. https://t.co/4xtGrOHCc7

[Canada Hates Trump @AntiTrumpCanada]

What a fucking embarrassment. American troops are being sent into harm’s way in Iran and this fucking idiot is doing his double jerkoff dance while waving a sword, like a drunk uncle at a wedding.

This is who has the nuclear codes. America is a parody.

[Mike Ingram @electmikeingram]

Chuck Norris has roundhouse kicked the bucket.

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

The Afroman Trial.

-Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons.
-Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up.
-No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman.
-Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras.
-Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives.
-During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat.
-The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation.
-Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit.
-Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them.
-One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife.
-As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE.
-The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman.

This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

[Chris Murphy 🟧 @ChrisMurphyCT]

I was in a 2 hour briefing today on the Iran War. All the briefings are closed, because Trump can't defend this war in public.

I obviously can't disclose classified info, but you deserve to know how incoherent and incomplete these war plans are.

1/ Here's what I can share:

[kimi 🥝 @kimichkis]

amber glenn opening magic the gathering booster packs on the olympic games closing ceremony and alysa filming her i'm deaddd 😭😭😭

[藤井セイラ @cobta]

坂本花織選手が演技直後に泣き崩れそうなとき、メディア陣が取り囲もうとするのをアメリカのアンバー選手がきっぱりと追い払って守ってくれて、こういう国を超えた関係性があちこちで見られたのも、今回のオリンピックとてもよかった。平和の祭典という言葉を思い出しました