Edward James Almost

I have an unbeatable strategy for winning at Battleship.

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

My therapist balked at the idea of going "Carson style" where I slide over and sit in on his next appt.

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@michaelharriot “Summertime Girls” by LFO

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@spookperson Is that an Eames recliner?

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@johnedugan Should we crash the holiday party?

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@AmazonHelp I’m out if warranty but figured I’d take a shot because both zippers for the main compartment gave out. And, y’know, its the holiday season and a time for giving.

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@AmazonHelp The zippers on my bag broke. DM me? Order #115-6895863-7031434

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@RealChrisCal I am so incredibly proud of the fact that I voted for you @CongressmanRaja

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@AntiFashGordon @erewinweik And if you want to play “When the Saints Go Marching In” hit these numbers.

1 3 6 9 1 3 6 9
1 3 6 9 3 1 3 2
3 3 2 1 1 2 9 9 9 6
3 6 9 3 2 2 1

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@chappie @SlowdiveDB

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@Nicole_Cliffe That part where she’s in a van with some people and they steal her shoes.

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@pandabrand Are you talking about the musical instrument or the fish?

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@JoeWadlington You look like the President of Space.

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@20thgrader @threader_app #compile

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@YAppelbaum @threader_app #compile

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@nlyonne @scottderrickson No Saturn 3?

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@_allisonk Never. You never get to leave. The rest of your existence is spent knocking on a door which never presents an answer. Again....again....again......

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@MiekeEoyang @threader_app #compile

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@robwhisman

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@pandabrand Find out if I can stay with them when I’m in Chicago next month.

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@LouisPeitzman Singles.

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@galacticdad Where do you live? I’ll come over and make you one.

[Edward James Almost @elginagain]

@galacticdad Turn some into sleeping tees.