Eli Moessner

honey meat (he/him)

[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

Alcohol is like creative mode

[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

I can physically feel the motivation draining from my body, all I want to do is fucking print my lab

[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

@yacineMTB Is this ragebait

[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

@ToBe415 Thanks twin

[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

Maybe I’ll just be a really poor barista forever

[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

@Seonggi_hun4560 Average “I thought I’d try vaping” experience

[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

@ysk100k Not me though! A trillion please

[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

@TrueSlazac It seems like the fucking around is the US

[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

If I beat that pussy up is you gon tell on meee, if I beat that pussy up is you gon tell on meeeeheeheeeeeeee

[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

@PicturesFoIder Too big 😔

[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

@vidsthatgohard I wanna be old and on drugs

[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

I think that taking selfies in a car as a girl with boobs is similar to boys and digging holes in the ground with shovels, trowels, and spades.

[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

Why does my tummy hurt
*nicotine and one ritz cracker in my stomach*

[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

@BasedBlondex This is an unfair generalization and it’s really gross.

[DrQube🇨🇺🔞 (COMMISSIONS OPEN) @dr_qube]

@ShitpostGate I still call this shit Twitter you think I'm calling a gulf a different name?

[i like food @messedupfoods]

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[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

@snarkeigh Release enough CO2 to neutralize a small country

[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

I wish suicide was a joke, my standup set would kill

[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

Heavily dipping into my patience reserve

[Eli Moessner @eli_moessner]

Now that it’s almost 5:00pm, it’s time for the first meal of the day