Eli Jonas

im the man gently kissing the ferrets at petsmart that your daddy warned you about ;)

[Eli Jonas @elijonass]

You heard the woman!!! @lisajonascomms

[Eli Jonas @elijonass]

Jane Eyre is a cautionary tale of the dangers of simping. And also a tacit defence of colonialism. And she almost marries her cousin. Its an extremely british book and id really rather read anything else

[Eli Jonas @elijonass]

HOW DID THE CARS MOVIES GET MADE. ALL STORYBOARD ARTISTS FOR CARS CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY I WANT TO BE SURE YOURE OKAY

[Eli Jonas @elijonass]

Sitting up at night staring at the ceiling thinking about the unbelievable hell it must have been for the storyboarders working on the cars movies

[Eli Jonas @elijonass]

Literally how do you convey ANYTHING when theyre cars. The cars cant touch. Lightnigh mcqueen will never know the embrace of his hot prius gf. And like they cant sit on a couch they literally just have to sit there in a soace big enought for a car to be

[Eli Jonas @elijonass]

@semper_vino I wouldnt subject him to that

[Eli Jonas @elijonass]

Assembling a playlist of music that my roommate @semper_vino asks me to turn off when i play. When its finally 24 hours long i will hide a wireless speaker in her room and barricade the door

[Eli Jonas @elijonass]

I just had to respond like im sorry i just hate the british so much im struggling to empathize with any of these people

[Eli Jonas @elijonass]

I lov when my professors respond to my discussion post like “great analysis! I have literally no idea what you’re talking about. Heres five quotes that prove you wrong”

[Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofwasps]

A saga of human will and triumph. Of flying too close to the sun; of descent. And finally - of rebirth.

[Eli Jonas @elijonass]

Me scrolling through hark a vagrant in my 11th grade european history class: damn hope this doesnt inform my personality for the rest of my life

[Eli Jonas @elijonass]

I pretty much saw this comic at 14 and let it inform every aspect of my personaily for the next 6+ years https://t.co/janUowNLLV

[Eli Jonas @elijonass]

Can the socialist revolution hurry up im not doing great under capitalism

[paul @paulswhtn]

people keep defending math like it’ll thank them for it 😳 mama the quadratic formula isn’t gonna fck u

[Mike Luciano @mikelucianosup]

This should be Jeb. This should be fucking Jeb up there

[sarah @sablaah]

sincerely do not get why straight women spend their time on here complaining about the men they date. my bf made me watch him try on cargo pants and said “these pockets will be so great, in case we find a rock or something.” love it. no notes

[Eli Jonas @elijonass]

@_Taylor_sue_ Oh. I realize i forgot to mention this happened while i was out on a jog

[Eli Jonas @elijonass]

A very nice man jogged after me and showed me a picture of myself, red, disgustingly sweaty, hunchback prominent, and asked if he could use the picture for his photography project

[Eli Jonas @elijonass]

Looked into the skull and theres no college kids in sight. Only townies. Nature is healing ❤️