Łįż Hį||$

mediocre tweets of mild humour.

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

I told my sister that I was flirting with a married man in the sims 3 and she got really mad at me. Well guess what? He dumped his wife for me. Happy Valentine’s Day ✌🏽♥️

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

Pretty hilarious when men are shocked that you respond to their hostility with hostility. Normalize being a bitch to bitches.

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

Men are so confusing. What do you mean you still want to date me even though I don’t want to get married or have children and you do??

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

Men out here actin like getting verified on a dating app is like asking him to cut off his left nut. Blocked.

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

Love when a man gives me one word replies, isn’t verified, and asks me nothing about myself. So hot.

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

Why more men should work in retail:
• you’re surrounded by funny charismatic girls
• you might get hit on by customers
• your co-workers will help you pick out clothes that actually look good on you and you get a discount, like

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

Love being a delusional girly thinking that he’s pining over me because why wouldn’t he, duh

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

Nothing like when you’re arguing with someone about who’s right and they go “FINE, let’s go prove it right now” and then they do and they’re wrong.

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

Corey Mylchreest has no business being this fine istg #QueenCharlotteABridgertonStory

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

I’ve successfully predicted what will happen in shows and movies before they happen to the point where my sister refuses to watch with me ;-;

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

Love how everyone I talk to likes to feed my delusions, but babes, I’m sorry, I just don’t think he’s that into me.

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

Something demonic rises in me when a guys profile says he’s taller than me in heels and there’s only 1 inch difference in our heights.

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

Please, for the love of god, don’t wear sweatpants when dropping off resumes.

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

How do I politely aggressively communicate to a guy I’m talking to that he can’t only talk about himself and I need him to talk about me half the time too

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

Heard someone say that their guy waits with them while they try to post-sex pee. If that ain’t my relationship, I don’t want it.

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

My conversational skills really getting a work out with these one sided convos with these men

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

People be tellin me they admire my confidence and I can’t even talk to my crush in full sentences let alone look them in the eyes.

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

Customer tries to purchase two items at full price. Unbeknownst to I or the customer, we discover one item is on sale but not the other. Customer is enraged we won’t discount the second item to match.

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

Lady gets mad when redirected to a cash register with no line and gets checked out before the other people at the other register. I love retail.

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

Yes. Please never shop here again because I had to check the last four digits of your card for a return. That’d really be a favour to me. #retail

[Łįż Hį||$ @elizah753]

Love how the holiday season really brings out the adult tantrum in every customer.