ell

[esra @1989healy]

Hang it up in the louvre

[Russ Cook @hardestgeezer]

Just been informed I am being prosecuted on 331 counts of crimes against the African tarmac network.

The charges include “inciting violence against tarmac” “grievous tarmac harm” and “ferocious 1s & 2s”

I would like to have it on record that I plead 100% guilty of all charges. Lawyer reckons I’m looking at 6-8 strawberry daiquiris on a beach in Tunisia. Please pray for me.

[didyoujustsaywig @2002scoobydoo]

she looks like she just tricked mr incredible into going to a private island so he can be k!lled

[Pete 🏳️‍🌈 @PeteAscolese]

Biblically accurate Be Our Guest

[Goblin Moder @mischiefanimals]

HOLY SHIT LOOK AT HIM GO

[Dr Helen Ingram @drhingram]

Developers bought the iconic Black Country pub The Crooked House (building built in 1765) and it mysteriously burnt down last night. This happens every single time a pub is bought across Birmingham. Starting to feel like ‘housing developer’ is code for ‘arsonist’.

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

Thinking about how cows don’t know I say “cows” every time I pass by them and that I’m their biggest fan

[Mulder, it’s me... @DanaMUA]

How does it feel to be the eleventythousandth person to play a role in a four hundred year old story and be declared as THE best ever to do that character, setting a standard no one will match, even if they try until filmmaking dies?

[leȯ @soleoado]

i really do

[BK Baby🫧 @TitoisOutside]

The 3 bank holidays this month have effectively been a trial run of a 4 day workweek in the UK.
What are the results?
Incredible national happiness, a surge in demand and economic activity. No negative impact on productivity. A breath of fresh air for creativity, rest and love.

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

great day to share some of my fav pics of princess diana hanging out and shaking hands w AIDS patients at a time when the disease was so stigmatized, nurses would leave trays of food outside of patients’ rooms for fear of catching it via touch

[leȯ @soleoado]

on this earth day and all 🌱

[Cheddar Gorgeous @CheddarGorgeous]

Lily will forever walk the alleyways of our hearts. She was a British institution and cultural icon.
As drag faces backlash, fuelled by click bait and a homophobic fringe, let us take some comfort today from these wise words:
"If I wanted your opinion, I'd slap it outta ya."

[Vincent Martella @vince_martella]

you cant unscooby-doo what’s already been scooby-done

[The Labour Party @UKLabour]

No one voted for this.

[India Willoughby @IndiaWilloughby]

Therese Coffey on BBC Radio 4: “Poor people are richer than you think.”

THAT is why you’re detested.

[Jake Lambert @jakelambertcom]

Hello! Could you maybe deliver those marmalade sandwiches to people who need them rather than leaving them outside a palace? Thanks.

[Christie the Crinkler @weaselllover69]

I would like the throw my hat in the ring