eluh

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

“Why don’t you go cry about it” nice try idiot but I already did that

[eluh @ellaparks71]

@ellambu god damnit

[prance @bocxtop]

after 21 every birthday becomes a threat

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

Protip to keep your ice cream cool: stop burning fossil fuels

[eat soup @jasminericegirl]

yeah sex is great but have you ever cleaned your room and then lit a candle

[♡graciepoo♡ @9wacie]

normalize letting me talk without making any sense

[Patrick Doran @lunch_enjoyer]

crazy to realize that Kermit was just a name guys had before it was the name of a famous frog

[THE SWAG 🥶 @returnofswagnft]

Me: i have a headache

WebMD: and it’ll be your last

[@paulrobalino on bsky @paulrobalino]

Do NOT do this 🙄🙄

[julián @brutalistboy]

justin timberlake better apologize for this next

[Rads @_radsy]

once you reach a certain age if you pull an all-nighter, you die

[Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti]

Finally, a bot script animated in all its glory!!! 🤖🎅🤖

[Alex Murdoch @alexgmurd]

if casual hook up no in love with me.... why forehead kiss??????

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

Republicans like to make fun of the fact that I used to be a waitress, but we all know if they ever had to do a double they’d be the ones found crying in the walk-in fridge halfway through their first shift bc someone yelled at them for bringing seltzer when they wanted sparkling