El Bretto

bad day

[Football on TNT Sports @footballontnt]

*Lionel Messi picks up ball*

Us: No, no, surely he can't? Amazing.

Magic 😍

[Joel L. Purba-Zammit @GoddammitZammit]

I will never be as happy as a journalist coming up with a headline after finding out that Hannibal ate people.

[Justine Stafford @JustineStafford]

Now she's falling asleep, and I'm calling a crab.

[El Bretto @elliotbetts1995]

@oliperci_meow Blatant dive

[Chelsea FC @ChelseaFC]

CHELSEA ARE PREMIER LEAGUE CHAMPIONS! 🏆

#ChelseaChampions

[El Bretto @elliotbetts1995]

@TSBible @TheLadBible @oliperci_meow

[Chelsea FC @ChelseaFC]

Barclays Premier League Manager of the Month:

October ✅
November ✅
December ✅

[Mark Hamill @MarkHamill]

no words #Devastated

[Chelsea FC @ChelseaFC]

2-0, 3-0, 4-0, 2-0, 5-0, 1-0, 2-1, 3-1, 1-0, 1-0, 1-0.

11 wins in a row.

25 goals scored.

2 conceded.

Top of the League.

[El Bretto @elliotbetts1995]

@Alldogsaredead @SanspantsRadio good as!

[Gary Lineker @GaryLineker]

Pogba cost £60million more than Kanté.

[El Bretto @elliotbetts1995]

@oliperci_meow possession for you guys has been good but yeah defensive frailties are always a problem, resign rio

[Boring Milner @BoringMilner]

I just asked Jamie Vardy if he was gutted about being on the bench. He said Don't chat shit, James. So I didn't ask again.

[Films We Want @FilmsWeWant]

Sharknado 5:

There are no more tornados throwing sharks.

Now there is a shark throwing tornados.

The world bows to him.

He is our king.

[Hamson Dan @Alldogsaredead]

Top 5 Obscure Bands
1. Grandma's Curse
2. Buddhist ABBA
3. Peppermint Piss and the Pisshouse Boys
4. Ahgeez
5. Blink 1882, Year of our lord.

[Fuck You Stingin' Roger™ @stinginroger1]

Beyoncé's music is truly contrived and devoid of artistic notion. Who pays this woman? When will she leave us alone? Big questions

[Gary Lineker @GaryLineker]

If planet Earth was ever under threat from an asteroid, I'm pretty sure that Kanté would intercept it.

[Very Lonely Luke @VeryLonelyLuke]

My dad said he felt bad about all the stuff he did.

I'm not sure if I believe him.

His ringtone was Alderaan blowing up.

[Gerard Way @gerardway]

People love Boba Fett- who basically murders people for a living. But maybe he's just sad his dad got his head cut off by Samuel L Jackson